Girl Crush
by OldMondlerLover
Summary: Anyone else think the writers of Friends were already planning for future Mondler toward the end of S4? Yeah me, too. ;) Here's my take on Monica starting to fall for Chandler, which IMO began to happen long before London. Enjoy! *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

"I have a bone to pick with you," Monica said as she waltzed unannounced into Apartment 19, wrinkling up her nose at the somewhat messy state it was currently in.

She was feeling pretty confident about herself at the moment, thanks to Joey. After initially balking at their "firing" plan because of the big tips he'd made that night, he'd finally let her terminate him after she ended up in the freezer, covered in marinara sauce.

The night turned around pretty quickly after that, her staff all afraid of getting fired themselves. On a high from successfully throwing her weight around once already that evening she thought she'd address the other issue that was bugging her.

Half asleep, a somewhat startled Chandler snapped off the TV with the remote control and twirled around in his barcalounger.

"OK," he said as he slowly stood up, observing the somewhat cocky expression on her face. "What's…up?"

She walked over to him, crossing her arms over her chest, and it was his turn to wrinkle his nose.

"Geez, Mon, go a little heavy on the spice there, did ya?" he said, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Wha..?" she started, then rolled her eyes. "No, I…ugh! It's marinara sauce. It fell on me when I was locked in the freezer. I thought I got all of it…"

She began to tug at the ends of her hair, checking for pasta sauce residue as he smirked at her.

"Firing didn't work, huh?"

"Oh, no, it did," she said, a little grin on her face. "This happened before."

"Ah," he nodded. "So I can assume Joey's back to his normal state, unemployed and broke?"

"Yep," she said, somewhat distracted by the trace of marinara she found on her fingers. She walked over to the kitchen sink, Chandler taking a couple steps across his living room to follow her. She turned on the faucet with her elbow then looked around helplessly for soap. She turned to Chandler.

"Are ya kidding me?" she asked, incredulous as she rinsed her hands. He shrugged.

"So what's this bone you've got to pick or should I even ask?" he said, handing her a questionably clean towel as he sat on a bar stool. She lightly dried her hands off, a touch of disgust on her face.

"Rachel."

"Rachel?"

"Yeah," she said, folding the towel perfectly on the countertop in front of him.

"And…what about Rachel?" he asked, gesturing for her to continue.

"Well, she was all giddy about her date before I left for work," she shrugged, looking down at the towel. "You know, the one with the guy you set her up with."

"The lion tamer?" he said dramatically, with a little grin.

She smirked at him.

"The guy in the fine foods division," she said. "Which, by the way, you probably hire chefs for."

"Data processing, Mon," he said, shaking his head. "Numbers in numbers out, no food."

"Oh," she said, gnawing her bottom lip a moment, then she waved her hand. "That's not my point anyway."

"And what would that be exactly?" he asked, cocking his head to the side for emphasis, ready to get past whatever had caused all the "bone picking-ness." Monica crossed her arms and shrugged up her shoulders.

"She was going on and on about your great taste in men," she said as Chandler rolled his eyes. "Well? You were the one who set her up…"

"That's been established," he said, confused, "but, ya know it didn't work out, right?"

Monica's eyes opened wide and she dropped her shoulders.

"No, I…" she started. "I was at work. Wait, it didn't?"

"Nope, he…uh, dumped her," he said, his face turning a little pink as he recalled Rachel coming into his apartment with a "bone to pick" with him earlier in the evening. Eh, at least they had fun at the hockey game, he thought.

"Oh," Monica said, a tad shocked and feeling more than a little guilty now. She looked around a moment before asking. "Is she OK? I mean, ya know, she's not too used to being dumped."

She gave him a knowing smile, which he returned as he popped a peanut into his mouth.

"Oh, I think so," he said, with a little nod, picking up a few more from the bowl next to the towel. Monica followed suit.

"What happened?" she asked, eager for a little gossip as she crunched down on her snack, but Chandler just shrugged.

"He scares easy, apparently," he said quickly, hoping she wouldn't ask him to elaborate.

"Oh my," she said, a little grimace on her face.

"Yeah," Chandler said, popping another peanut in his mouth. "We went to the Rangers game and drank a little. I think she felt better when we got back."

"You took Rachel to a Rangers game?" she asked, raising her eyebrow skeptically. Chandler shrugged.

"I had tickets in the company suite, so she didn't have to watch much hockey and the alcohol was free, so…" he said, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Ah, part of your 'win-a-date-with-Rachel' stash?"

"Yep," he said. He eyed Monica closely as she shrugged up her shoulders again. Then she fiddled nervously with the towel again, refusing to look him in the eye.

"OK, Mon, what is it?" he sighed.

"Well, I mean, I've been single a while now, too, ya know," she said, still shrugging, still not looking at him. "Why didn't you offer to set me up?"

Chandler's jaw fell to the floor.

"You have _got_ to be kidding!"

"No," she said with a little whine, her face turning pink.

"Seriously," he said, his eyes wide, a disbelieving smirk on his face. "Tell me you're joking."

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"No, I'm not joking," she said, starting to get a little ticked off. "If you know all these great single guys…"

"Oh oh oh, wait just a minute," he interrupted, a look of bemused disbelief frozen on his face as he jumped up off the bar stool. "If I recall, I was told not too long ago that _I_ didn't fit the 'boyfriend material' criteria for you…"

"Oh, come on, Chandler…" she said, with a wave of her hand.

"Oh, no," he said, waving a finger at her, "no, no, no! That's what _you_ said. So, clearly, _I_ have no clue what you're looking for in a guy. So, no, I'm not gonna fall down that rabbit hole."

"What…'rabbit hole'?" she said, confused.

"Setting you up," he said, a smirk now planted firmly on his face. "No way. Not gonna do it."

"OK, fine!" she said quickly, throwing up her hands, more than a little aggravated with him.

"Fine!" he repeated, not quite sure if she was really mad at him or not. They were both quiet for a moment, not looking at each other, both of them with their arms crossed in front of them.

"It's late," Monica finally said, sighing. "I probably need to head home and see if Rachel's still awake."

"OK," he said, as he followed her to the door. "Hey, for what it's worth, it didn't work out and so, ya know, I'm probably not that good at playing matchmaker anyway. You may have dogged a bullet there."

He grinned at her.

"Maybe," she said, grinning back at him. "Oh, and for the record, I know at least one woman who believes you're definitely 'boyfriend material.'"

Chandler's eyes turned soft and his grin deepened underneath the sudden blush on his cheeks, and in that moment Monica thought he was adorable. Being in love looked really good on him.

"I hope so," he said softly as he opened the door for her.

Monica smiled.

"Kathy's crazy about you," she said, patting his arm as his smile deepened.

"Ah…maybe she's just crazy," he joked.

Monica shook her head at his self-deprecating humor.

"Night, Chandler," she said as she walked across the hall.

"Night, Mon," he called as he closed the door.

Monica walked into her dark apartment. Rachel's bedroom door was closed, so she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. She opened it and glanced toward the guys apartment. As she fiddled with the bottle cap between her fingers she sighed and grudgingly had to admit it was looking like Chandler Bing made for pretty good "boyfriend material" after all.

###

 _ **NOTE: Because I already have this well underway on my laptop, and because I probably won't be able to write any "new" Mondler updates for quite a while, I decided to start to post this new story before I'm done with Seasons Change. This contains a lot of in-canon, S4 "missing scenes" up until it doesn't - and you guys will know exactly when I veer into AU territory. They'll be a good reason for it when it happens, but it won't be for a while.**_

 _ **This idea has been on my radar a very long time, so I hope you enjoy it!**_

 _ **And, please, let me know what you think... :) Thank you!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Monica leaned back against the closed bedroom door and looked around "her" room. Well, up until today it had been Chandler's room, but she just _had_ to up their bet and they'd eventually lost the apartment to him and Joey. _Lost their apartment! "_ Oh God," she moaned for the hundredth time, still in a mild state of shock.

The smug looks the guys wore on their faces as they moved in were bad enough, but after Joey had come over and killed whatever had been running around the kitchen drawer it got worse. Kathy walked onto the landing just as Joey was walking out the door. The tension between Chandler's best friend and Chandler's girlfriend had pretty much gone away over the last couple months, so he excitedly started to explain what happened. Kathy listened, a surprised look on her face as she shot sympathetic glances to Rachel and Monica when they caught her eye.

Finally Joey excused himself and ran back into Apartment 20, still giddy over the "huge closets." Kathy had looked at the girls with wide eyes and started to walk toward them to get the full story when Chandler came out into the hall. A big smile broke across his face when Kathy turned to him…

 _"I see some things have changed around here," she said with a grin, settling into his arms as a defeated Rachel and Monica looked on from the doorway._

 _"They sure have," he said with glee, pulling her closer to him. Despite his obvious excitement about the apartment, he gave her a gentle kiss and she graced him with a wide smile afterwards, both of them getting lost in each other's eyes for a moment._

 _Monica watched her friend's face light up as he looked at Kathy and she couldn't help but stare. This was a side of Chandler neither she nor anyone else saw very often. His gentle, loving, non-sarcastic side that could put aside the jokes long enough to appreciate his girlfriend. The look didn't last long, though, as Rachel cleared her throat and Chandler turned back to his two female friends._

 _"Who's the king of lightning rounds?" he said with a smirk. "Who would that be?!"_

 _Rachel rolled her eyes and stomped her foot. Monica just gave him a snarl._

 _"Ah…that would be me," he said triumphantly as Kathy giggled, then he added with an eyebrow wiggle. "Wanna celebrate?"_

 _Kathy just giggled again, a little embarrassed as she waved goodnight to Monica and Rachel. Chandler gave them a big, goofy smile as he moved to close the door behind him._

 _"Night!" he said, barely able to contain his euphoria._

 _"Oh God! No!" Rachel shouted suddenly, a horrified look on her face. Chandler raised his eyebrows and took a step back into the hallway._

 _"Whose room do you have?!" Rachel asked, breathless._

 _"That'd be mine," Chandler said smugly, folding his arms in front of him._

 _"Chandler!" she demanded._

 _"OK, fine, yours," he said, nodding to Rachel. Then he smirked and nodded to Monica, "and I've got your mattress, too."_

 _Monica groaned in disgust. Rachel thought she was going to be sick._

 _"Oh, no! No! No! No!" she said, pointing a threatening finger at him. "There will be no sex in my room! On my bed! Just…ew, no!"_

 _"Oh, I'm sorry, it's not yours anymore, Rach," he said, ignoring her finger, "and I think there very well will be."_

 _"No! Chandler!"_

 _"What do you want him to do, switch with Joey?" Monica asked - exasperated, tired and feeling like she was living in some perverted version of "House Swap."_

 _"You!" Rachel said, turning her wrath and pointy finger to Monica, who shrugged her shoulders but backed away a little despite herself._

 _"Ugh!" Rachel finally shouted in defeat, throwing up her hands as she stomped off to the bathroom, where she let out another loud "ugh!" after she slammed the door._

 _Monica briefly closed her eyes and threw herself back against the doorframe. When she opened them again Chandler was still standing there, arms crossed, giving her a thoroughly bemused look._

 _"You're enjoying this a little too much," she said, narrowing her eyes at him._

 _"Yes I am," he said, with a smile that went all the way to his eyes. Monica shook her head._

 _"Go," she sighed, waving her hand toward Apartment 20, ready for this hideous day to be over. He chuckled._

 _"I'd pick my room, by the way," he said, almost as an afterthought as he walked back into the apartment, shutting the door behind him._

 _Monica tossed a curious look at the closed door, then quickly closed her own as she heard Kathy let out a loud laugh inside her old apartment…_

Two hours later she was finally ready to collapse from exhaustion. She'd done all the cleaning and organizing she could do for one night, with little to no help from her roommate. Just the thought of Chandler having sex in her bedroom had been the last straw for Rachel; or maybe it was the fact that Monica told her Joey's room was going to be hers. Either way, she'd gone to her "new" bedroom an hour ago, still very, very unhappy over their living arrangements.

Monica switched on the overhead light and scanned her surroundings. To her surprise the room didn't look horrible. Chandler had actually left a small lamp on a bedside table and what looked like clean sheets and pillowcases on the bed. She walked over to the lamp, flipping it on then walking back across the room to flip off the overhead light.

Quickly she changed into an old t-shirt and sweatpants and grabbed one of her pillows out of a bag before she fell on top of the bed, her eyes feeling heavy. She took a deep breath. The mattress was definitely worn and she could tell that it hadn't been flipped in a long time, but at least the sheets were clean. She pulled over one of the pillowcases and began to put the pillow inside when she caught the whiff of a familiar scent in the air. She hadn't noticed it before, the apartment itself smelling like nothing but "boy," but laying down on top of the sheets she could clearly tell it was Chandler's bed she was lying on.

And, somehow, that was comforting.

Monica sat up as she fluffed the pillow and placed it at the head of the bed. She pulled a second pillow out and repeated the process in an inexplicably calmer state of mind. Pillows ready, Monica pulled down the top sheet and settled her weary body under the covers. She nestled into a small dip in the center Chandler must have made after not flipping the mattress for who knew how long, but she was surprisingly comfortable.

She figured, though, that a bed of nails would have been comfortable after the day they'd had. Still, she took another deep breath and let it out slowly, a small smile playing on her lips as again his scent filled her senses. She pulled her second pillow to her, about to drift off into a contented sleep, when a terse knock sounded at her door.

"Rach?" she said, sitting up just as Rachel barged into the room. Her friend's eyes were bloodshot and her hair a mess.

"I can't stand it!" Rachel whined, close to tears. "We have to move back!"

"We will, Rach," Monica said wearily.

"Right now!"

"Rachel…"

"How you can stand it!" Rachel said, arms flailing about until she started pointing toward their old apartment. "They're boys! Can you imagine what it will be like if, _if_ we get to move back there - it's gonna be dirty and gross…"

Monica grimaced a little and Rachel, clearly on a roll, continued unabated.

"And, and Joey…he's going to be over there having all kinds of sex in _your_ bedroom, Mon, your bedroom!" she said miserably, slapping her hands against her cheeks, "and…oh, I can't stand it! Chandler and Kathy have probably already had sex in mine! God…"

As she finished she plopped herself down on the bed.

"Rachel, honey, it's gonna be OK," Monica said, patting her distraught friend on the arm. "We're sleeping in their old beds. We'll have sex in their beds!"

Rachel widened her eyes at her.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Monica said, giving her arm a shove. Rachel pursed her lips.

"I have no idea what I'm sleeping on over there," she said, tossing a disgusted glance at Joey's old room. She turned back to Monica. "You don't know what you are either!"

"Oh, come on, it's Chandler," Monica said, with a grin.

"I dunno," Rachel said, shaking her head, "seems as though he got pretty good after those instructions you gave him. Kathy seems to think so anyway."

Monica started at her blankly for a moment, then grimaced, remembering Kathy sweeping into her kitchen, falling to her knees and thanking her for teaching her boyfriend what he apparently needed to learn. Monica remembered being very smug about her schooling of Chandler in the fine art of fornication.

But now she started to squirm, the thought of Chandler and Kathy recently being together in the very spot she was laying suddenly making her stomach queasy. Rachel smirked at her then sighed.

"Sorry, it's late," she said, standing up and walking toward the door as Monica nodded. "Maybe I'll just sleep on the couch tonight. Good night."

"Night," Monica said weakly as Rachel pulled the door closed behind her.

Monica laid back down and tried to find the contented comfort she had before Rachel had ruined it. But now it was gone. Images of Chandler and Kathy kept flashing in her mind as she tossed and turned on top of the bed, the "Chandler scent" seeming to grow stronger and stronger each time she moved.

Finally she gave up. She drug herself out of bed and shot a glare where she thought Rachel might be sleeping in the living room as she grabbed old blankets out of another box. She let out a deep sigh as she made herself a little nest on the floor in the corner of the bedroom, laid down and eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

 _ **NOTE: Thanks for your enthusiasm for this story everyone! Thank you so much for your reviews :) Yes, C-Rokkk, Little Big Town's "Girl Crush" brought this nagging fic idea into focus for me! Oh, both this story and Seasons Change are about 10 chapters each, but they'll be slow in coming. Really appreciate you all for sticking with both!**_


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Chandler?" Monica called out as she walked into her old apartment. "Are you here?"

"Yeah," he called from the bedroom.

"I got your note," she said loudly as she glanced around. Her eyes didn't fail to catch the fresh bouquet of red roses sitting in a make-shift, plastic cup vase in the kitchen sink or the long, black jewelry box resting next to them on the kitchen counter.

"Whatta need?" she asked as she started making her way slowly past the barcaloungers, not sure whether or not she should go into his bedroom.

"Ah," he grunted as he walked out into the living room, a slightly aggravated look on his face, "would you help me pick a tie?"

He was holding at least four different ties in one hand, while running his other hand nervously through his hair. For a moment Monica just stared at him, blinking without a word. He was wearing a charcoal-gray suit with a medium gray shirt, collar unbuttoned and polished black shoes. She instantly knew that every bit of it had to be new since she'd never seen it before.

Her eyes slowly rose to his face, and the color of the shirt made his admittedly stunning eyes just that much more striking. And it was clear he'd done his best to make his hair behave, not leaving it in the boyish, disheveled mess it usually was in.

Her appraisal of his appearance only lasted about five seconds, but it was long enough that she figured she'd better make a joke or he would when he realized she was checking him out.

"Gee, Chandler," she said cheekily, even as her heart still raced, "you really didn't have to get all dressed up for little ol' me."

"Har, har, very funny," he said, oblivious to her racing heart as he thrust the ties in front of her and started rambling, fast. "I'm taking Kathy out after dress rehearsal to celebrate her opening night tomorrow and I thought 'hey, I'll buy some flowers and a little gift and, oh, oh! hey! a new suit. So I bought this suit and the sales guy tells me I need to buy a tie and _I_ thought 'no I don't, I have a ton of ties,' but ya know what? I don't. I don't have one tie that works. Not one!"

Monica unsuccessfully tried to stifle a giggle as she looked in bemusement at the panic on his face.

"Mon!" he said, somewhat exasperated as she covered her mouth with her palm. "I gotta leave in 5 minutes!"

"OK, OK calm down," she said, taking a step toward him, taking the ties out of his hand and looking them over. "I'm sure you have _one_ tie that will match just fine."

"No I don't."

"Of course you do. Come here," she said as she walked back towards his bedroom, Chandler on her heels. Monica started flipping through the ties he'd handed her, scrunching up her face at a couple as Chandler started to pace around the room. Not satisfied with any of the choices he'd given her, she walked over to his closet, pulling out his tie hanger.

"See," he said, pointing to her, defeat written all over his face. "I knew it!"

"Just wait a minute!" she said, brows furrowed as her eyes went back and forth between him and his tie selection. Finally she pulled out a plain, deep purple tie and her eyes again dashed back and forth between her choice and him, then she grinned.

"I think we've got it," she said triumphantly, putting the rest of the ties back where they belonged.

"Purple?" he asked, skeptically as he turned to the small mirror on his dresser. Monica walked over and threw the tie over his shoulder, grinning back at his reflection from behind him.

"Huh," he said in surprise, his head bobbing back and forth, "that's not too bad."

"Not _too_ _bad_?" she asked cockily, as he took a step back and she moved in front of him, looping the tie behind his neck as he turned up his collar. "It's perfect."

Chandler smirked at her as she smoothed the tie around his collar.

"Of course, it's 'perfect,'" he said, with a little eye roll. "What was I thinking?"

Monica kept her concentration on the task of tying as she smirked at him and nodded, "that's better."

"Thanks, Mon," he said with a smile. She briefly looked up and was going to say "you're welcome" when her voice disappeared, her eyes were drawn to his and she momentarily stopped her task in mid-loop.

As she continued to stare at him Chandler's smile turned to a frown.

"What?"

Monica blinked and looked back down at the tie, her face turning pink.

"Ah, it's nothing just, um…" she started, trying to think of something to say - _anything_ to say to cover for the fact that she'd been staring at him. Again. "Just, it, ah, might mute your eyes a little…"

"Mute my eyes?" he asked, not having a clue what she meant. Without even lifting her gaze to his she could sense the bewilderment on his face, and hers felt even warmer than before.

"That's OK," he said after a moment, with his lopsided grin. "They don't talk much anyway."

She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling her embarrassment ebb, groaning out a laugh as she finished off the tie.

"There," she said, patting it against his chest as he flipped down and buttoned his collar. He moved closer to the mirror and buttoned up his suit jacket.

"Yeah," he said with a little grin as Monica tugged the back of his jacket and smoothed down its shoulders. "Yeah, that'll work. Whatta say, Eyes?"

He made bug eyes at the mirror and Monica smiled at his reflection. He playfully turned back to her. "See. Told ya."

She rolled her eyes and giggled as she shook her head. He grinned widely and hugged her around the shoulders before they walked back into the living room, just as Rachel walked in the door looking for her roommate.

"Hey, Mon…wow," she said, giving Chandler a smile and dramatically looking him up and down. He grinned and spun in place, kicking out his foot to bounce his heel on the floor as he finished his "model turn."

"Well, don't you look all fancy," Rachel said, with a grin. "Hot date tonight?"

"You know it," he said with a cocky little grin as he walked over and put the jewelry box in his breast pocket then tapped the stems of the roses on the edge of the sink.

"Nice tie, too," she said, pointing to him.

"Oh, this old thing?" he said, giving Monica a wink. She smiled back at him.

"Gotta run," he said, with unabashed glee. "Thanks, again, Mon. Have a great night, ladies!"

Rachel walked over to the fridge as Chandler closed the apartment door. Monica leaned against the foosball table.

"'Thanks, Mon?'" Rachel asked.

"Oh, I just helped him pick out the tie," she said with a shrug.

"Ah," Rachel nodded, sipping on some bottled iced tea. "Did I see him leave with a jewelry box?!"

Rachel's eyes were wide and Monica swallowed hard as she nodded, not failing to notice that, either. Rachel looked back at the closed door and shook her head.

"Have you _ever_ seen him _this_ happy?" she asked. Monica, who'd just been thinking the same thing, shook her head.

"No," she said softly, then she took a deep breath and smiled as she looked back at Rachel. "I don't think I've ever seen him so head-over-heels, even with Janice."

"Well," Rachel said, rolling her eyes and smirking at Monica. She smirked back.

"I know, but ya know what I mean?" Monica asked as she pulled out a stool by the table and started to climb up onto it.

"Yeah," Rachel said with a nod, adding with a hint of jealousy, "lucky bastard. So, do you think they'll get married?"

Monica, who was just getting ready to sit on the stool, missed her mark and lost her balance, stumbling back off of it again.

"Mon, you OK?!"

"Yeah, yeah it's just slippery," she said, trying to drown out her suddenly thumping heart with a nervous laugh as she climbed back onto her seat.

"So…do you think they will?" Rachel asked again.

"Get married?" Monica said, waving her hand dismissively and looking at Rachel like she was crazy. "They've only been dating a few months, and this is Chandler we're talking about, remember?"

Rachel laughed and shook her head.

"Yeah, you're right," she said, screwing the lid back on the iced tea bottle and placing it on the kitchen counter, "sure would be a hoot though if the one we all thought would get married last got married first!"

"Ha! Sure would!" Monica said, forcing a laugh.

"OK," Rachel said, hands on her hips as she gestured towards the guys' bathroom. "You think it's safe to go in there?"

Monica grinned.

"I dunno, but it's your life," she said as Rachel hopped up the one step and took the risk, closing the door behind her.

Monica put an elbow on the edge of the foosball table, burying her hand in the side of her hair and sighed.

 _Chandler_. _Married_.

It certainly wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Objectively she thought he was a great catch. He was quirky and sometimes a little too nervous for his own good, but he was smart and successful in his job despite the fact that he hated it.

He cared about his friends and she knew he was the one she'd turn to if she needed someone besides herself to be responsible for anything. Plus, she had to admit, he wasn't hard on the eyes either.

So, yeah, it wouldn't shock her too much if he'd finally found the right woman and they decided to get married - and Kathy very well could end up being Mrs. Chandler Bing.

The two had been together almost three months, sailing through Christmas and New Year's as happy a couple as she'd ever seen. She was sure Chandler would make this upcoming Valentine's Day super special for Kathy, too. Monica took a deep breath as she fought off the twinge of jealousy that pinched her just then, knowing that she just wanted to have someone special to share these holidays with as well. Someone who looked at her as sweetly as she'd witnessed Chandler looking at his girlfriend.

Honestly, there was a large part of her that was really happy for him. Monica liked Kathy and could tell she made Chandler happy, but the thought of them getting married, him moving out of the building and starting a new life away from their little group gave her pause. Maybe it was because she always secretly thought she'd be the first one to do that; or maybe it was because she liked their six-friend "family" just the way it was, even though she knew _someday_ that would change.

Maybe, she thought, fairly or unfairly she didn't think it would happen to Chandler - and maybe that was because for some reason she didn't want it to.

As she heard the toilet flush Monica sighed again as she lazily twirled one of the foosball handles in her hand, watching the little plastic men go around and around.

"Yeah," she whispered quietly to herself as she watched them spin in place. "That would be a _real_ hoot…"

 _ **NOTE: Thank you so much for all your reviews!**_

 _ **FYI...my fanfic energy and time (such as it is) is shifting back to Seasons Change for the foreseeable future (OK, at least the next update). I feel like I'm giving birth to twins! Hope you love them both... ;)**_


	4. Chapter 4

Monica stretched out in her sleep, then feeling her abnormally sore muscles cry out from the motion she moaned and quickly curled into a ball, tucking the afghan that was draped over her under her chin.

"Mon?" she heard some ask faintly from the recesses of her mind. Groggily she opened her eyes, trying to orient herself to her dimly-lit, yet polished and shiny living room in Apartment 19.

"Hey honey," a robe-clad Rachel said as she walked from the kitchen and sat next to her dozing friend on the couch

"Hey," Monica croaked out, then cleared her throat as she sat up. She looked at her wrist but realized she wasn't wearing a watch. "What time is it?"

"Almost 11," Rachel said, stroking Monica's hair. "You've been asleep for a while."

"Have I?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded then added with a little grin. "You wouldn't even budge for dinner. We all had to fend for ourselves."

"Oh you poor babies," Monica said with a roll of her eyes as she sat up. She looked around at her handiwork then asked hopefully. "Did everybody stay and hang out for a while?"

"Sure, yeah, for a little while," Rachel said after a moment, but she diverted her eyes and Monica knew she was lying.

"Rach…"

"Well, you'd fallen asleep," Rachel said, defending herself and their friends. "We didn't want to wake you and, ya know, we had to deal with Chandler's situation."

Monica felt her heartbeat quicken when Rachel mentioned Chandler and she pursed her lips. The massive amount of effort she'd put into making the boys' old apartment nice and somewhat livable had a two-fold purpose. One, she was tired of them having to live in a dump and two, it kept her mind off Chandler and Kathy.

For reasons unknown to her, she'd started feeling anxious about the two of them a few days ago after Chandler had gone to see Kathy perform in her play. Afterward he was out of his mind with jealousy, unlike anything she'd ever seen from him before. He was convinced Kathy was cheating on him with her co-star.

They'd all tried to talk him down, telling him he was being unreasonable and to give his girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. Even Joey was being benevolent about the situation. She herself had offered platitudes, and given him reassurance after reassurance when he came to her with that desperate and sad look in his eyes, but she had to admit there was an ever growing part of her that really hoped they'd break up.

And that unnerved her like nothing else.

"What happened?" she softly asked. Rachel sighed.

"She was sleeping with him," Rachel said, shaking her head. Monica squeezed her eyes closed as Rachel explained how Chandler had gone to Kathy's to apologize for his behavior only to find her co-star there in her bed.

"He's blaming himself, of course," Rachel continued, then added hotly. "And, you know, they just had a big fight and she had no right to go sleeping with someone else!"

Monica shot Rachel a look. Her friend had never been _that_ protective of Chandler, but Monica knew some of Rachel's angry words were leftover byproducts of her own bad break-up with Ross. The circumstances certainly were similar, so Monica decided to change the subject. Her heart was racing.

"So…they broke up, then?" she asked.

"Of course!" Rachel said, shooting her a confused look. "Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I mean, of course I would, I…" she started, then sighed herself as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "How's Chandler taking it?"

"You know," Rachel said with a wave of her hand in the direction of the apartment across the hall. "He's in his sweatpants."

"You guys didn't let him go drink himself sick again, did you?" Monica asked, a flash of anger in her eyes. Was she the _only_ one who could take care of _everyone_?

"No!" Rachel said, defensive again. "No, actually, he…I don't think he's had a drink all night, come to think of it. He had pizza with us and then Joey left for a date around 9…"

"What about Phoebe and Ross?"

"Mon, he asked us all to leave after Joey left," Rachel said, then added softly. "Honey, he's hurting and I…sometimes he needs that space, ya know? That's how he's always been. He'll…he'll be OK."

Monica shook her head and stood up quickly, smoothing down her shirt. Rachel looked up at her.

"He really loves her, Rach," she said softly, blinking her eyes rapidly as she looked across their apartment toward the door. Her near giddiness at the prospect of the two of them breaking up had instantly turned to deep concern for her friend when Rachel confirmed they had actually fallen apart. She hated to see any of her friends in pain, but Chandler with a broken heart…that one always hurt the most.

"I'm gonna go see how he's doing," Monica said. Rachel nodded as she stood, too.

"OK, I'm going to my room, but, um, let me know if I can help or anything," she said, almost sincerely.

Monica gave her a small smile.

"Night, Rach," she said as she walked toward the door.

###

Monica could hear the TV on in Apartment 20 when she stepped into the hall. As quietly as she could she opened their unlocked door and peered inside. The only light in the living room came from the reflection of whatever old black and white comedy was playing on the screen.

She took a step inside, wondering if he'd fallen asleep in one of the Barcaloungers until the sound of a deep sigh from the other side of the room caught her attention. He was sitting on the yellow couch in a white undershirt and gray sweatpants, his body turned toward her but he was looking out into the night through the bay window. His eyes were wide open, his profile was tense. His long legs were crossed down the length of the sofa and his arms were folded across his chest.

It was clear he hadn't heard her come in. For a moment Monica studied him from the doorway with a heavy heart as he sighed deeply again and closed his eyes. Even from across the room she knew the familiar look on his face. She'd seen it on her own a time or two. It was open, honest, unmasked and one she'd never see if he knew she was there.

He was heartbroken.

Monica frowned, looking around quickly. Rachel was right. There was no sign of beer bottles or alcohol anywhere. She cleared her throat as she closed the door behind her. Chandler's head swiveled to face her as he quickly blinked his eyes.

"Hey," she said, almost sheepishly as she gave him a little wave.

"Oh," he said, obviously caught off guard. "Hey, Mon." He looked around the room then gave her a tight smile.

"What's up?"

Monica cocked her head and looked at him in disbelief but didn't answer. She walked over to the TV and put the sound on "mute" then hopped up one step to the couch and took a seat by his outstretched legs, facing him.

"Are you OK?" she asked softly as one hand rubbed his shin through the cotton.

"Ha…" he puffed out softly in a mock-laugh before tightening his arms against his chest, diverting his eyes from hers. "Oh yes, yes, I'm fine and dandy."

"Chandler…"

"At least I was right, right?" he asked rhetorically, looking at her again. "I mean I can take solace in the fact that I was, after all, accurate in my assessment of the situation. My instincts are right up there with the best of 'em."

He pointed to the ceiling before folding his hand back on his arm as she kept rubbing his leg.

"Now women in general, no, I'm not so much with the instincts but when they're cheating?" he said, his throat catching slightly as he tried to fake a laugh. "Yeah, I can sense when that's happening like 'right now!'"

He snapped his fingers and Monica shook her head.

"What did she say when you confronted her?" she asked pensively.

"Oh, does it matter?" he said, throwing up his hands. "Whatever she said she said as I was folding _his_ pants and throwing them back down on her kitchen chair."

Monica winced at that.

"You know, I don't know what she said," Chandler said hotly, causing Monica to blink back in surprise. "Something about not wanting to hurt me and blah, blah…but, ya know what, they're just words. They mean nothing. She did. It…it hurts like a…!"

"I know… " Monica started, then stopped suddenly when he went on.

"Dammit, I trusted her, Mon," he continued, bending his knees and swinging his legs down, his feet making a thud as they hit the floor. He folded his hands between his knees and she did the same. He took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm himself down.

"I trusted her and I really thought we were…I thought she loved me I thought I could…I could _trust_ her," he lamented.

"Chandler," Monica sighed and shook her head before looking up at him. "I saw you two…she loves you, I'm sure of it and I know you…you love her. It's…maybe it's just a big misunderstanding, a…a mistake and you…"

"No," he said, adamantly waving his hand and cutting her off. He stood and began to pace in front of her. "OK, no! If you can't trust someone how can you…? I learned, ya know, I learned from _Janice_ of all people that if there's no, ya know, trust there's really nothing else, is there?"

"Trust is very important," she agreed, with a little shrug.

"It's _very_ important and…and you know what else?" he said, pointing at her but not really expecting her to answer. "I'm…I'm tired of being the one who gets…gets my heart broke like a…like an egg all the time, ya know? I'm tired of being the one who ends up like this. Maybe…maybe I'll be the one who goes around breaking hearts, ya know? I can…I can be like Joey. Different girl every night!"

Monica stood up and raised her eyebrow at him with a bemused look on her face.

"A different girl every _Friday_ night, maybe?" he asked, some of his pain-induced bravado waning. Monica smiled at him and shook her head, walking over to him. She raised her hand and patted his cheek. A very small smile crossed his face as he looked down into her eyes. She swallowed heavily as the black and white from the television illuminated their faces.

"You could break some hearts," she said with a nod, fighting a sudden new urge to kiss him, "but you're not built that way."

She watched as his eyes studied her face. For a brief second she thought he was going to kiss her and she made the split decision that she was going to let him. Instead his face fell and the unmasked look settled back into his features.

"I know," he said softly, backing and looking away from her as he gazed out toward the window once again. "I sure as hell wish I was - would hurt less."

She took a deep breath and grinned a sad grin as her stomach suddenly made a loud, rumbling noise. Chandler glanced at her sideways and gave her his lopsided grin as her face turned red.

"I think somebody's trying to tell you something, or you have a pet gremlin living inside you?" he joked.

"Yeah," she said, clearing her throat, "I kinda slept through dinner."

"I know" he said, with a nod. "Place looks great, by the way. Hardwood floors - who knew?"

"You noticed?" she said with a surprised smile, shocked that he would notice given his current state.

"Yeah, I noticed," he said, shrugging. "Who wouldn't notice carpet to hardwood? It's a pretty big difference."

"Mr. A-Different-Girl-Every-Night didn't have a clue," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well," he said dismissively, "at least I have noticing-changes-in-home-décor going for me."

"Chandler," she said, reaching out her hand and grabbing hold of his forearm. She looked at him sincerely. "You have a lot going for you, don't forget that, OK?"

He frowned a little, "eh…"

"I mean it," she said, looking into his eyes until he gave her a small smile.

"Thanks, Mon," he said, patting her hand then giving it a little squeeze. "You're the best friend ever."

She smiled as her stomach growled yet again. He pointed toward the fridge.

"I think there's a left over slice or two," he offered, "if you want."

"Maybe I'll do that," she said with a grin. "Wanna share?"

"Nah, that's OK," he said, eyeing the sofa once again. "You take it. I appreciate you checking on me, but I just kinda, wanna be alone right now, 'K?

"You sure, Chandler?" she asked, concerned as her hand dropped from his arm.

"Yeah," he nodded as he made his way toward the refrigerator and pulled out the pizza box inside. "If I'm gonna start breaking hearts I gotta work through those stages of grief, ya know? Denial, anger, bargaining, pissed-off-ed-ness…"

"I think that's anger," she teased, taking the box from him, relieved to see him at least attempt to make lame jokes.

"See, I got a lot of work to do," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets and giving her a smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes. "It's exhausting."

She shook her head and gave him a sympathetic look, "you'll be OK?" she asked softly.

He just nodded and plopped down on one of the Barcaloungers.

"Night, Mon," he said as he grabbed the remote off the table and turned the sound on over his shoulder.

She smirked at him.

"Night," she said, with a smile as she closed the door. Then she hesitated outside his apartment and waited another minute or two, feeling unsettled. Finally, she decided to tempt his crankiness by checking on him one last time.

She opened the door slowly and, just as before, the TV was blaring loudly with an artificial laugh track. She looked to the chair and furrowed her brow, then looked up at the yellow couch glowing in the moonlight.

He sat there, just as before, gazing out the window with his arms and legs crossed, but this time she clearly saw a tear from his watery eyes running down his cheek.

She bit her lip and quietly closed his door. Then she wiped at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she made her way back into her apartment with his pizza.

She was right. Seeing Chandler with a broken heart always hurt the most.

 _ **NOTE: Hi! Finally getting back to this story :) Hope a few of you missed it. I'm sticking really close to canon with this fic. In my mind every chapter so far fits right into canon as a missing scene. Trust me when I say you'll know exactly when I veer out of it - you won't have to guess. As always, please let me know your thoughts. Thank you!**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chandler came out of his bedroom, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

Monica looked up from her waffles sitting precariously on top of the little men on the foosball table and grinned. At least he was awake at a reasonable hour in the morning, even if he didn't look that thrilled about it.

"Hey," she said from across the room. He grunted in response and she had to stifle a laugh.

"Ready for another buffet at the strip club?" she teased, tongue firmly in cheek.

"Ah, no thank you," he said, hands on his hips. "I'm never going to a strip club with _you_ again."

"Ah come on," she said, taking another bite of her waffle, "admit it. You had fun!"

He looked at her incredulously.

"'Fun' isn't exactly what I'd have called it," he said. "I was coerced."

"Yes, the lap dances were brutal," she retorted, "but, you can't deny it worked!"

Monica was not about to let go of her triumph yesterday. He'd been way down in the dumps, convinced he'd never get over Kathy then _bam_ , he'd quickly flown through all the "phases" in record time. "You even got through 'phase four,' as disturbing as that turned out to be."

He came over to the foosball table then and crossed his arms, leaning down onto it with his crooked grin on his face. She did her best to ignore him, looking directly into her waffles. She didn't want him to see how flushed her face was becoming.

"Why is phase four so 'disturbing?'" he asked, a bemused sound in his voice. She shrugged. "Come on," he urged.

Monica sighed, wiped her mouth with her napkin then calmly took a sip of her juice before answering him. His eyes were wide, trying for all the world to look innocent, but his smirk gave him away.

"Phase four is sex with strippers and _your_ _friends_ ," she said, shaking her head. "Seriously, Chandler, I mean, you didn't mean that, did you?"

"Maybe," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She rolled her eyes, even as her heart started, once again, to race. Why _was_ that?! She took in their surroundings. Rachel had gone out for a run. Joey was already on the movie set. Ross was still in Vermont with that Emily woman and Phoebe wasn't there.

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she realized they were alone, and she swallowed hard.

Then she watched as his bemused face turned contemplative. He stood up then cleared his throat, stuffing his hands into his robe pockets. Did he feel it too she wondered, almost holding her breath? Was there really _tension_ in the air between them or was she just imagining it?

"What?" Monica finally asked softly at the look of confusion on his face.

"I, ah," he started, looking away from her as he began rubbing that back of his neck with his palm. Finally he peeked up at her with wide eyes. "We didn't, um, have a…party last night, did we?"

"Ah, no," she said after a moment, a look of bewilderment on her face.

"Are you sure?" Chandler asked, now fully confused. "I didn't meet Joshua?"

"Joshua? The one Rachel's trying to make her boyfriend?" she asked, now thoroughly at a loss. "No, not with us anyway."

"I, I…but you were there," he said, clearly trying to make sense of it in his mind. "You, Rachel, Pheobe…oh!"

His face instantly turned deep red and he cleared his throat again.

"Oh, dear God, never mind," he said quickly, ducking his head and making his way to the bathroom. "I…I think it was a…a dream. I gotta…"

He motioned with his thumb toward the bathroom door as Monica bounced off her stool, completely amused now, and followed him.

"You were dreaming about…" she said, throwing her palm against her mouth, somewhat in shock but also trying to stifle a giggle as she walked toward him.

"Hey," he said, stopping just outside the door and pointing at her, "you girls were the ones who made me go to the strip club. Can you blame me?"

"Yeah, but you could have just dreamed _that_ kind of dream about the strippers, not us and….Joshua," she widened her eyes and squished up her nose. "Oh, Phoebe and Rachel are gonna love this!"

"Don't!" he almost shouted, wagging a finger at her, a terrified look on his face. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Monica…" he said, but she kept a teasing smile on her lips and he finally smirked at her, taking a step out of the bathroom.

"That dream is your fault," he said, his face only inches from hers and she quietly gasped just a little as she looked up into his now teasing eyes. "I'll get back at you, Geller."

At that, she snorted.

"Yeah, I don't think so, Bing," she volleyed back, hands on her hips now. "You won't be dragging me to any more strip clubs anytime soon."

"Mark my words," he said, backing up into the bathroom once again. She made a waving motion for him to continue in the direction he was moving as she turned to walk back to the kitchen.

"Oh, hey, and Mon?" he said as he poked his head around the bathroom door. She turned, glaring at him. He dramatically looked her up and down then added with a grin. "It was damn good."

Monica's jaw dropped.

He winked at her and quickly closed the door, leaving her rooted to where she was standing as a shiver ran down her spine.

 _Damn him_ , she thought as she closed her mouth and walked back to the table. She took one more bite of her waffle then took her plate over to the sink just as the shower turned on.

She looked in the direction of the bathroom, and suddenly thoughts she never knew existed in her brain started coming to life. He was naked. He'd had a dream. It would be so simple to slip into the bathroom, undress, pull back the shower curtain…

"Hey," Phoebe said brightly as she walked into the apartment. Monica jumped about 10 feet in the air.

"Phoebe!" she shrieked, trying to catch her breath, trying to once again still her racing heart. "You scared me to death!"

###

"How can you not care?"

"Like this," Joey said with a shrug. Monica sighed, flipping off the light switch for no apparent reason, since it seemed to lead to nowhere. She walked over to the fridge to get a beer, the morning with Chandler still playing on her a bit in the back of her mind. She managed to not think about him much as she worked the lunch shift. Rachel, who was now chastising Joey for not flushing their toilet, had taken Chandler to lunch and then to a nail salon.

She grinned to herself. She was sure that if he wasn't wild about the girls taking him to the strip club he was even less thrilled about Rachel taking him to get his nails done, but he played along. After all, as he said, he was getting a free lunch out of the deal.

Monica had just turned away from the refrigerator and taken a swig of her beer when she almost choked on it. In walked the man in question…with his former flame, Janice.

"Hi," she said with glee with that nasally voice that almost sent Joey running for the hills.

"Janice," Monica gasped in shock, then without thinking she embraced her as if she were a long lost friend. Rachel explained they'd run into her at the nail salon, of all places.

Monica stared at her, then at a grinning Chandler, trying to stay active in the conversation swirling around her as her heart pounded in her ears.

Janice. Suddenly _Janice_ was back in his life? Kathy just gotten out of it and now here came the other woman who'd briefly held his heart in her hands. Janice?! Monica plastered a smile on her face as the old new couple exchanged protracted "goodbyes" as Chandler closed the door behind her.

"Can't stand the woman," Chandler declared the second he closed the door and the relief that went through the room, and all through Monica's body, was palpable. Chandler quickly listed off all the things that made him fall out of love with her and Monica started to relax. He wasn't going to fall back in love with Janice, she thought. No way.

"You've never been able to break up with her!" Rachel exclaimed and though Chandler denied it, Monica knew her roommate had a point. He had never properly been able to get his ex-girlfriend out of his life. And now she was divorced, free, a single woman and he'd already made plans to see her tonight.

"My ass is frozen," he said suddenly, prompting Joey to tell a story that made them all roll their eyes.

"I have to get going," Phoebe said after Joey was finished, picking up her purse and making her way out the door. "Alice and Frank want to have time with the babies this afternoon."

"See ya later, Pheebs," Rachel said, with a wave of her hand. "Hey guys, if you still wanna catch that movie, we'd better go."

"Sorry, I have not-a-break-up break up plans," Chandler said.

"Sure ya do," Rachel said, sarcastically.

"Chandler, promise me," Joey said, pleadingly to his roommate, "promise me I'll never have to…hear her again!"

"Joey, I promise," Chandler said, crossing his finger over his chest. "It's not even going to start this time. Now, I gotta go refine my plan."

He nodded a goodbye and closed the door behind him, heading back to Apartment 20. Monica watched him leave and crossed her arms over her chest, the new anxiety she had been feeling about him lately settling back into her bones.

"Mon?" Rachel asked.

"Hum?"

"The movie?"

"Oh, nah, I don't think so, I'm kinda beat," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Ya sure?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Monica replied, as she walked over to the do-nothing light switch and flipped it to the "on" position once again.

###

"You have got to be kidding me!" Monica exclaimed.

"I'm not!" Rachel said emphatically. "He's over there packing all his stuff right now!"

"He told her he's moving to Yemen?" Monica said, hands on her hips.

"Yes!"

"Oh my God!" Monica shouted.

"I told you," Rachel said with a laugh, "and I told him - he's never been able to break up with her."

Rachel shook her head and grabbed a couple more beers to take over to the guys apartment.

"You coming?" she asked.

"Nah," Monica said, pointing to the light switch. "Still working on my project."

"Mon, honey, give it a rest," Rachel said with a deep sigh.

"I can't," she said with a shrug. Rachel stared at her for a moment.

"Suit yourself," she said with a shrug then she left the apartment.

Monica bit her thumbnail and looked around the apartment. The sound experiment from earlier in the day had failed, so the only choice she had was to find the electrical blueprints to the building and go from there.

"I can't let it go," she said to herself, looking around the living room and ignoring the little voice in her head that was wondering exactly what she couldn't let go of.

###

"He left," Joey said when he came over to raid the girls' fridge at lunchtime the next day.

Monica just stared at him, dumbfounded. For the three hours she stood in line waiting to get the building's blueprints, she'd wondered if Chandler had stuck to his plan and ended it with Janice the night before. She hadn't seen him, and that was by design.

She was obsessed with the light switch, admittedly, but there was another part of her that just didn't want to know. She didn't want to know if his plan failed, he told her he wasn't really moving and they were truly back together. For some reason she was sure knowing that would break her heart, and instead of trying to analyze her feelings all her energy was focused on the electrical mystery in her apartment.

This new information, however, floored her.

"He actually _left_?" Monica asked loudly, wondering if she heard him right.

"Yep," Joey said in disgust. "He really packed up all his stuff and went to the airport."

"Oh my God," Monica said, her eyes wide.  
"Rach is right," Joey said, shaking his head as he piled sandwich-making ingredients in his arms. "He's never gonna break up with her."

"I guess not," Monica said in aggravation.

"Thanks, Mon," Joey said as he opened the door. "Gotta run. 'Baywatch' marathon is about to start. Woo hoo!"

"See ya, Joe," she said absentmindedly as she walked over to close the door behind him.

Yemen?! He actually packed up all his life's belongings and told Janice he was moving out of the country. Monica shook her head and walked back over to the blueprints, still in a state of disbelief.

How immature was that? And, also, how sweet, she wondered. He didn't want to hurt her feelings so he said he was moving away. It was so stupid in such a ridiculously considerate Chandler kind of way, she thought. He really didn't have it in his heart to hurt people, even if he'd been hurt himself.

"Ugh," Monica said, trying to shake thoughts of Yemen, Janice and Chandler, most of all Chandler, out of her head as she picked up a hammer and glanced at the blueprints one more time.

She was going to find the electric to this switch, she thought with determination as she pounded hard through the drywall by the door, tearing a hole in the wall. She was going to find it and she wasn't going to stop, even if she had to pound holes in the wall for the duration of his entire flight to Yemen.

And with that thought she pulled back and took another swing.

 _ **NOTE: What's this? Another update so soon?! Almost like old times - ha! Don't get used to it, though…**_

 _ **OK, so I thought Monica got a little crazy during the cleaning and the light switch episodes, but looking back on it now, it's almost as if she was trying to keep her mind off something, or**_ **someone** _ **, by going crazy on apartment projects - at least that's what I'm going with. ;) And, oh, I love that episode tag when Chandler dreams of the strippers. Cracks me up every time!**_

 _ **Thank you so much for your reviews and for sticking with this one! Lots more Mondler action coming up. I promise :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

Monica plopped down on her couch, put her feet up on the coffee table and smiled triumphantly.

Ross was going after Emily. She knew he was in love with her, and she'd talked him into confessing as much to his English girlfriend. There was something about Emily and Ross that seemed sweet, and despite the distance, less complicated than his previous relationships. It felt unplanned, in-the-moment and very romantic. Honestly, it was something Monica thought she might be uncomfortable with if it ever actually _happened_ to her, but she liked to think about it anyway.

She felt a little bad for Rachel, but she seemed to be moving on with Joshua, and of course there was the fact that Ross was living out her ultimate fantasy. Meet someone from a foreign land and fall madly, hopelessly in love.

It seemed she'd been fantasizing a lot lately about falling in love again. About meeting a tall, dark handsome stranger with bedroom eyes and a slow, seductive smile that would sweep her off her feet. Or maybe he didn't have to be a stranger.

It had been a long, long time since she'd been in love. It had been a long, long time since she felt the way she knew her brother was feeling now. Oh, she couldn't wait to hear how it went at the airport…

"Hey, dreamy girl," she heard Chandler say from the kitchen. She jerked her head in his direction. "Didn't you hear me come in?"

"Hey," she said, sitting up straight and absentmindedly fluffing up her hair. He was smirking at her.

"Good Will Humping is about the start again," he said as he grabbed a YooHoo out of the fridge. Monica squished up her nose in disgust.

"So?"

"So?" Chandler said, looking at her, confused. "You said you wanted to catch the beginning next time."

"Really, Chandler, I'd think _you_ would know sarcasm when you heard it," she said shaking her head as she stood up and walked toward him.

"Oh," he said, blinking back in mild surprise as he twisted the cap off the bottle.

"Seriously, how much porn can you watch in one day?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her. He frowned.

"Is that a trick question?"

"You've had it on all morning."

"Yes, and it will stay on…forever," he said with a swig of his YooHoo. Monica rolled her eyes.

"Look, I may never find a woman again," he said, waving his arms for emphasis. "Porn may be all I ever have."

"Well, that's just…"

"Pathetic?"

"Yes," she said, putting her hand on her hip and cocking her head to the side, "among other things. Sad, lonely, creepy…"

"All in my wheelhouse," he said with a nod.

"That's not true," she said, shaking her head a little.

"Sure it is," he shrugged. "Look, I've tried the romance thing, the love thing, it didn't work out, ya know? I've learned to stay in my zone."

"So you don't believe in love anymore?" she said, it was her turn to blink back in surprise. He let out an exasperated sigh and gestured toward the door with both hands.

"Seriously. Mon. Good Will Humping," he whined. "Starting now."

"Chandler…"

"Monica…"

They stared at each other a couple moments, her not sure what answer (denial?) she was expecting (hoping?) to hear. He'd been doing so well. He seemed to be over Kathy and, at least currently, free of Janice. She knew there must be some lingering resentment toward Kathy in him, and she felt bad about that for his sake, but it was nothing love wouldn't heal. The right love…

She swallowed hard as she looked deep into his eyes. She thought she could still see a hint of pain in them.

"Are you OK?" he suddenly asked, furrowing his brow. She took a step back, her face turning pink.

"What? Me?" she said, feeling instantly caught off guard by the question. "I'm…I'm fine. Why…why would you ask me that?"

"I dunno," he said, studying her. "You just have this, I don't know, this…look on your face."

He snapped his fingers and pointed at her with a grin.

"Hey, are you seeing someone?" he asked, excitedly.

"What? No!" she said emphatically, gently slapping his finger away from her. "No! Of course not!"

"Really?" he asked, taking a step back, looking more than a little confused. "Huh…"

"Huh, what?" she asked, her face turning beet-red now as her heart started to pound.

"Nothing, nothing, I just thought I saw…" he started, then cleared his throat as his eyes widened, his face a cross between embarrassment and amusement. "Oh God did I, uh, interrupt you, um…ah, ya know, just now?"

He grimaced and, after a moment she gasped.

"Chandler!" she said, throwing her fists down to her sides. "No! Geez! Look, you've just been…been watching too much porn!"

She let out a disgusted grunt and shot a glare at him, which made him chuckle.

"Now that's just ridiculous," he said with a grin as he made his way toward the door. "In any event, I'm sorry for the interruption."

"No, you're not," she said, walking past him to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Come on," she said, aggravated with him but somehow genuinely curious about how Good Will Humping started. "That porn isn't going to watch itself."

"That'd be kinda hot," he joked, practically giddy.

"Get out of here," she said as she opened the door, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a grin as she followed him out the door.

###

"Monica, what are you doin'?" Joey asked the minute Ross ran out the door to fly to London.

"Yeah," Chandler said as his eyes followed her back across the room and she sat back down on the barcalounger.

"What?" she said, looking from one man to the other. Chandler leaned toward her in his chair, a concerned look on his face.

"London," Chandler said, looking at her like she was crazy. "You just told him to go all the way to London to get his heart broken. He could have saved some serious money and just done that here!"

"Oh, I did not," Monica said with a little grin, her head swimming with romantic fantasies. What was a little trans-Atlantic flight when true love was on the line?

"Monica, there is another guy in her life," Chandler said. "What if…what if this Collin guy turns out to be…to be…"

"Her boyfriend…her husband…her stalker," Joey said.

"He's…it's not, it's not going to turn out that way," she said, shaking her head as Chandler turned to Joey with a look of disbelief. "I'm right, you'll see."

###

"Hey," Chandler said as he a Joey walked into the girls' apartment later that day.

"Hi," Monica said, flatly, from the chair facing away from the door. She didn't bother to get up or even turn around. The two had done nothing but give her a hard time and make her feel like the ultimate romantic fool before she'd stormed out of their place and back across the hall hours earlier.

"Look, we're sorry, Mon," Joey said as he took a seat on the ottoman at the far end of the coffee table, "but ya gotta admit, you were talking a little crazy before…"

Chandler widened his eyes at him and waved his hand as if to say "shut up." Monica's shoulders slumped in her chair. Maybe they were right. Maybe she was trying so hard to make Ross and Emily work because she wanted to live a romance vicariously through them. Maybe she was just feeling lonely.

"Hey, hey," Chandler said as he sat on the arm of the chair she was sitting on and smoothed her hair a couple times with the palm of his hand. He let out a sigh. "Have you heard from him?"

"No," she said, a slight pout on her lips. Then she half shrugged before she started picking at the lint on the seat of the chair. "Look, I know, it seems a little dramatic but I really think…I think I'm right."

Chandler and Joey cast a glance of doubt between the two of them.

"Or maybe I'm an idiot," she said hotly, but her tone betrayed how defeated she really felt as she cast her eyes on her lap.

"You're not an idiot," Chandler said as he scooted down onto the chair. She made room for him as he wrapped his arm around her and she settled into his side. His hand tightened around her shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry we gave you such a hard time," he whispered.

"Yeah," Joey added, with a nod.

Monica looked up at Chandler and smiled a little at him.

"That's OK," she said softly as she fit her head into the crook of his arm once again and sighed. He tightened his hand again and she relaxed into his embrace, breathing him in as Joey started talking about yet another porn film he'd seen earlier in the afternoon.

Monica was barely listening. She felt like she could fall asleep, cuddled up close with her best friend on the oversized chair. There was something about being in Chandler's arms that had always soothed her, whether it was a quick hug or a prolonged embrace, she never failed to come away feeling a little calmer.

"Oh, oh," she suddenly heard Phoebe say as she came bursting into the apartment. "I did it, I did it. I figured out a way to make money…"

###

Monica felt his fingers glide gently through her hair. She tilted her head back, moaning a little as a lazy, hazy smile came to her lips.

"Hey there, dreamy girl," he said softly, his blue eyes roaming her face.

"Hey," she breathed as she shifted her body to face him more fully in the chair they were sharing in her apartment.

"What are you daydreaming about?" he asked, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it. She smiled fully at him and ran her fingertips along the light stubble on his chin.

"You," she whispered just soft enough for him to hear.

"Oh yeah?" he said gently, a smile playing on his lips. She nodded and burrowed even further into his side.

"I like being tucked against you like this," she said in a breathy exhale, closing her eyes and laying her head on his chest. She heard his chuckle reverberate under his shirt. The hand that was in her hair made its way up and down her arm, pulling her closer against him with each stroke. Then she felt his other hand cup her face.

"Mon?" he whispered. She could feel his hot breath against her mouth

"Hum…" she murmured, her eyes still closed against his chest.

The next thing she knew his lips were on hers, gentle at first, barely a touch. She tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't before his grip tightened and his lips crashed harder onto hers. She moaned deep inside, pushing her now-open mouth up against his, one hand clutching the side of his shirt in her fist, the other pushing into his lap as she lifted herself up to press more fully against him. He moved his arms around her, his lips never leaving hers, pulling her against his chest.

Monica arched against him on the oversized chair as her hands flew to his hair. She kissed him deeper until she heard him moan. She smiled into the kiss as their breathing became shallow.

Chandler lifted his mouth from hers and moved to her neck as she threw her head back over the arm rest.

"Ohhh," she moaned, her body throbbing for him. "Oh, God…"

He ran his hand slowly along her torso then cupped her bra in his palm as she gasped.

"I want you now," she heard him almost growl against her ear in a voice she almost didn't recognize as his. Her whole body lurched in response to him.

"Yes, yes," she breathed as she started to rock against him as he held her firm, bathing her collarbone in soft, succulent kisses. "I want you…too. Oh, I want you…"

"Mon?" she heard him say.

"Yeah," she responded, still in the throes of passion.

"Mon?" he said more forcefully. "Monica?"

"Wha…"

"Mon, hey wake up," he said, and she felt something poking her shoulder.

"Monica!"

"What?!" she said as her eyes shot open. It took a moment for her to focus, but when she finally did she found Chandler kneeling beside the pushed back barcalounger in his apartment, in exactly the same place she'd started watching a movie with him more than an hour ago. She had an afghan twisted around her. Chandler gave her his lopsided grin.

"You feel asleep a while ago," he said.

"I did?" she said, taking a quick scan around and deducing that her current state would support that assertion.

"Yeah," he said with a mischievous grin, flicking some rouge strands of hair away from her face, "and you were, um, dreaming pretty hot and heavy. For a minute there I thought maybe I should leave you alone with, ah, you."

He cracked a smile and Monica just stared at him, mortified as it suddenly came back in a flash that the man she was dreaming so specifically about was right in front of her.

"Oh…God," she moaned, pulling the afghan over her head to hide her burning-red face.

"That sounds familiar," he quipped, with a chuckle.

"Stop! Please," she demanded, though it came out muffled under the cover, which just made him laugh harder.

"Chandler!" she warned. He stood up as she peeked out from under the covers, her embarrassment at a fever pitch. "Would you stop!?"

"OK, OK," he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's probably a product of too much porn, right?"

"Gee, ya think?" she said, as she slowly sat up on the chair. He nodded, an amused look still lingering on his face.

"That and your, um, overactive imagination in the romance department," he said with a roll of his eyes. That made her smile.

"I was right, though," she pointed out, her breathing starting to become even again as she threw a sideways glance at him. Emily was currently waiting for Ross at his apartment, having flown back from England to tell him she loved him, too.

"You were right," he conceded as he plopped down in the other chair. "So, who was he?"

"Who was who?" she said, rearranging the blanket around her.

"Your dream man," he said with his crooked grin. She glanced over at him briefly, her face turning pink.

"Ah, I, um, I dunno," she said quickly. "Didn't see his face."

"Uh huh," he said, picking up the remote again and un-pausing the movie.

"Strong arms, though," she said, as unbeknownst to him her eyes flickered over his outstretched body on the chair. "Great kisser, too."

"OK, OK, enough," he said, squirming a little.

"You asked," she said with a giggle.

"And I'm sorry I did," he said, shaking his head and turning up the volume on the TV. "Let's just finish the movie, shall we?"

She giggled a little louder as he crossed his arms, trying his best to ignore her. She cast him a sly glance he didn't see and smiled to herself.

And for the first time she wondered what it would be like if it wasn't just a dream after all...

 _ **NOTE: Another update?! This one a little more on the romantic side, too, on the tail end of Valentine's Day. Happy Mondler lovin' to you all! :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

Monica hoofed it down the sidewalk, knowing she was going to be at least a few minutes late and she loathed being late.

She squinted into the shadows cast by the noon-day sun toward the place she was meeting Chandler for lunch, stopping in the crowd of people near the corner preparing to cross the street. She stood on her tip toes and craned her neck, trying to look beyond the throngs of people before her.

She spotted him right outside the pizza joint he'd insisted they go to and she'd reluctantly agreed. She was trying to steer clear of pizza and anything that would add extra pounds before Ross and Emily's wedding, but she said she'd meet him there anyway.

A little grin crossed her face as she glanced toward the traffic sign, waiting for the "walk" word to light up. She knew she'd hear a lot of gloating from him because he'd gotten there first, but she didn't care. They'd just taken their apartment back from him and Joey not too long ago, so she decided she'd let him enjoy a couple small victories, for a little while anyway.

She turned again toward Chandler and saw that he was now talking to a woman who had her back turned toward the street. Monica furrowed her brow as the sign changed and the light turned green. The people around her bumped into her as they moved to cross the street, but Monica barely felt them. Her eyes were fixed on the woman who had just glanced over her shoulder as Chandler looked to the ground and shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets.

Kathy.

After a moment Monica closed her dropped jaw, her mouth forming a thin line. She could almost feel steam coming out of her ears as she took a small step closer to the edge of the sidewalk to get a better look at the couple. She could feel blood coursing through her in an adrenaline rush she honestly didn't expect. She had a great desire to do one of two things - go over there and give that woman hell for hurting Chandler or pull him away and tell him never to speak to her again. Maybe both.

Quickly she glanced up at the crosswalk sign, only to see that she'd missed her opportunity to cross the street. Monica stomped her foot, fighting the urge to yell over the traffic and the commotion of the lunch crowd to make her presence known to him. Instead she waited, with very little patience, and watched. She felt more and more sorry for her friend as each moment passed. She was sure Kathy was the last person on Earth he wanted to see.

She was, wasn't she?

Gnawing on her thumbnail Monica watched as Kathy continually looked from Chandler to the sidewalk behind her. She could tell her friend was doing his best to keep a pleasant smile on his face. Finally Kathy seemed to look directly at him, talking with her hands and taking a step closer to him. He kept his hands buried in his pockets as his expression eventually turned into a frown. He looked to the ground for a long moment as Kathy continued to stand there, seemingly expecting something from him. Monica had no idea why, but she caught herself holding her breath.

Finally Chandler looked up at his ex-girlfriend and said something, his hands never leaving his pockets. When he was finished Kathy nodded and they both looked down. Monica watched anxiously as Kathy hugged him briefly and walked quickly away past the restaurant and down the crowded sidewalk. Monica's eyes followed her as she shot daggers into the back of the woman's head until she lost her in the NYC crowd.

The "walk" sign came back on and this time Monica was pulled along with the crowd, her eyes now locked back on her friend. She saw him take a deep breath and let it out slowly, taking his hands out of his pockets and stretching his fingers. His palms were facing the sidewalk and his eyes were closed. Monica's heart ached for him as she prepared herself for a heartbroken Chandler once she finally reached him down the block.

She took a few deep breaths as she made her way to him, a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Hey there," she said, plastering on a smile as best she could.

He turned in her direction and, to her great surprise, clapped his hands together and had a genuine smile on his face.

"Hey!" he said, dramatically pulling back the sleeve of his suit jacket to check his watch. "Would you look at that, I do believe you are late, Miss Geller."

She blinked back in surprise. He was acting as though nothing had happened at all and her face must have betrayed her confusion.

"What?" he asked, looking down at his watch. "I have 12:05. You're late."

She relaxed and smiled. His eyes looked a little watery, but that was the only outward sign that he had run into his old girlfriend less than a minute earlier.

"Maybe your watch is off," she said, snapping back into teasing him with ease and a healthy dose of relief.

"Oh, no," he said as they walked toward the pizza parlor and he opened the door for her. "No, no, no! Admit it, you're late!"

"OK, OK," she said, spotting a small open table in the back and walking quickly over to claim it, Chandler on her heels. "Maybe I was a _little_ late."

"If you'd moved like that you could have been on time," he mused jovially.

"You win one time and you get all…" she waved her hand at him as she sat down.

"You admit I won!" he said in surprise, a self-pleased smile on his face as he slapped his hand on the back of the empty chair in front of him.

"I'm hungry," she said, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms. Then she gestured to the front counter. "Go order our pizza."

"What? Why do I have to…" he started in a huff, waving his arms "you can't just order me around, ya know."

"Yeah I can," she said, pointing at the front counter again.

"You're just sassy 'cause you lost!" he said with a smirk, but at the classic Geller glare she shot him he jumped back a little and put his hands up in surrender, grinning all the way to the order window.

She shook her head as she watched him walk away. She was stunned he was being so calm. If she'd randomly run into any of her ex-boyfriends just a couple months after they broke up, she knew she'd be a mess. Yet here he was, acting like himself, and she knew him well enough to know he wasn't putting on a front, and that really surprised her. Chandler was nothing if not predictable. He should be heading into phase one again right about now.

Chandler walked back with their ticket number in hand and sat down across from her.

"Got the meat lovers, since you're so hungry," he said, with a wink. She grimaced.

"What?"

"Oh, I shouldn't be having pizza at all," she said, chastising herself. "If I'm going to fit into my bridesmaid's dress I should eat leaves and figs from here to London."

"Sorry. They don't have leaf and fig pizza," he said, giving her his lopsided grin and taking a swig from one of the two soda cans he'd bought for them, leaving her with the diet pop.

She grinned and pulled the can to her, fiddling with the tab.

"I still can't believe my brother is getting married again, can you?" she asked, finally cracking open the can. He shook his head.

"He's crazy," he said, looking away from her as he took another sip. She looked at him sharply.

"You think so?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"God, yes," he said, rolling his can between his palms and shaking his head. "I mean, come on. They met, like, 20 minutes ago. She never even mentioned there was another guy when she was seeing him at first and that was, what? Last week?"

Monica squished up her nose. While she loved the romance of it all, there was a nagging part of her that agreed with him.

"Have you talked to him about it?" she asked.

"No," he said, blinking back in surprise at the question. "Why would he care what _I_ think? Seriously, Mon, I'm probably the last person anyone should take relationship advice from, especially Ross."

She nodded and he frowned at her.

"Well, there was the incident with 'the list,'" she conceded, "and, ya know, the whole 'Chloe' thing."

"I didn't tell him to sleep with her!"

"Yeah, but you told him not to tell Rachel!"

He bobbed his head around, reluctantly agreeing.

"Look," he sighed as the food runner brought out their pizza. He nodded at him and continued as she cut both of them a slice, putting Chandler's on his plate first. "It really doesn't matter what anyone says to him. He's 'in love' and you can't tell anyone anything when they are 'in love.'"

She pursed her lips.

"People do stupid things when they are 'in love,'" he said, using a mocking tone meant to mimic air quotes. " _Believe_ me."

Monica took a bite of her pizza, eyeing him closely. He was concentrating on his food, but seemed just a touch nervous now. She was wondering if his run-in with Kathy might have anything to do with it, and hoping beyond hope he wasn't going to do anything stupid himself.

She was dying to know about the encounter on the sidewalk. What she'd said, what he'd said. He'd been very much 'in love' with her and if he was so much as thinking about getting back together with her…

Monica cleared her throat. She knew it was none of her business, and he'd be mortified, but she had to know.

"Chandler, I, ah…" she started. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. She wiped her hands on her napkin and tucked her hair nervously behind her ear then started talking fast.

"I know it's none of my business, but you're, ya know, my friend and, um, really when has the fact that it's not my business stopped me anyway…"

She saw the pensive look come into his face and she knew he suspected where she was eventually going with this.

…so I'm going to make it my business and I…well, I'm sorry but, I…did I see you, um, talking to…ah, Kathy outside before?"

His eyes grew wide and he dropped down his pizza slice, his hands balled into loose fists on either side of it as his forearms rested on the table.

"You saw that?" he sighed heavily, his eyes dropping from hers.

"Yeah," she said, concerned, as she reached out her hand and put it over one of his. She could feel he was trembling just a little and her heart went out to him. "Are you OK?"

Chandler took a deep breath before he answered and, just like before, she held her breath. She didn't know why seeing him in pain made her heart hurt so much, but it did. She felt tears in the back of her eyes.

He let it out slowly then grinned a little sadly as he put his hand over hers and looked back at her.

"Mon, I'm fine," he said.

"Really?" she asked skeptically, cocking her head to the side and studying him.

"Y…yes," he said, trying his best to be convincing. He squeezed her hand.

"Are you sure?" she asked, as she looked at his hand wrapped over hers, suddenly noticing how long his fingers were and how perfectly her small hand fit snuggly into his.

"I'm sure," he said, grinning at her, "but thank you."

"OK," she said quietly with a small smile as their hands broke apart, unconvinced he was fine. She cleared her throat again as he picked up his pizza and took another bite. She did the same, neither saying anything for a moment or two.

"She and Nick broke up," he said, obliterating the silence. Monica gasped and Chandler nodded.

"What?!" she said, eyes wide and her heart instantly speeding up.

"Yeah," he continued, "and, ah, she wanted to know if we could get a drink sometime."

At that Monica felt like her heart stopped.

"No!" she said in her head, though she actually also said it out loud without meaning to.

"Excuse me?" he said with a little surprised chuckle.

"I mean…" she started, her face feeling hot as she tried to cover her embarrassment and her own reaction to this news. "'Noooo.'"

"Yeah, well…" he said with a shrug and another bite of pizza. Monica could feel her heartbeat in her ears.

"You're not going to are you?" she asked with more passion than she meant to. His mouth full of food he mumbled something she couldn't make out and she waved a hand at him, then picked up a plastic fork and knife.

"It's a terrible idea," she said as she concentrated on forcefully cutting her half-finished pizza slice into little, tiny bites.

"What is?" he said, wiping his mouth and curiously watching her perfectly cut bites take shape.

"Seeing her, Chandler," she said emphatically, pointing her plastic knife at him. He sat back quickly in his seat, eyeing the relatively harmless utensil in her hand. "Remember when I…I tried that whole 'friends with Richard' idea? See how that worked out? Getting over him was the hardest thing I ever did and one of the reasons was running into him at the video store and..."

"I know, Mon, I…" he started when she finally took a deep breath. She barely noticed.

"…I ended up as broken hearted as the first time. She broke your heart? How can you even think about getting back together…she cheated on you! She…she…"

"I'm not!" Chandler said quickly, trying to get a word in edgewise. When she kept speaking he tried again and this time she finally looked up at him.

"You're…not?" she asked, stunned.

"No," he said quietly. "I'm not."

She breathed a silent sigh of relief as he looked over both shoulders, as if to check if anyone was around to hear them who would care.

"I'm not going to say I wasn't tempted…"

Monica rolled her eyes and looked as though she was going to start talking again when he put up his hand to stop her.

"Look," he sighed. "If this had been a year or two ago, I would have jumped at the chance. I know that. I was…scared of ending up alone. Crazy snake man and all…"

She smiled at that.

"But, ya know, I…I don't want to go back to her. Just like I knew I didn't want to go back to Janice. 'Course there were a whole bunch of reasons why I didn't want that," he said with a grin and she giggled softly.

"What I mean is I...I don't want to be with a woman when I don't know if she really wants to be with me," he said with a self-assured nod she'd not seen before, "and, I mean, I'd always wonder if Kathy just wanted the Chan-love or she wanted to _actually_ be with me."

Monica smirked at him, but also marveled at this mature train of thought that was coming from him.

"So, you know, I've…I've decided that if I am going to be alone I'll do it on my own and not be alone while I'm with someone," he finished quietly, then looked at her somewhat sheepishly. "Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense," she said after a moment. He smiled at her. She looked down briefly then looked back up at him, determined to tell him what she really believed was true.

"Chandler, you're not going to end up alone," she said.

"Now, where have I heard that before?" he teased with his lopsided grin.

"I mean it," she said, cocking her head to the side, her voice shaking just a little as she added. "Who wouldn't want you?"

"Ha!" he exclaimed, not at all catching the quiver in her voice. "That would be most of the women in the tri-state area."

"Oh, stop," she said, feeling relief that his self-deprecating humor had saved her and masked her own insecurities in that moment. She shook her head with a grin. As they finished off their first slices Chandler dished up the next round.

"Hey, Mon," he asked as he placed the pizza on her paper plate.

"Hum?"

"Could you, ah, keep this all between us?" he asked. She raised her eyebrows and he sighed, continuing. "I just don't need everyone to know I ran into Kathy today, OK? All the _questions_ and the _explanations_ , I just don't want to deal with it from all them..."

She nodded.

"No, sure, I get it," she said, with another wave of her hand. "Sometimes living in the fishbowl of our friends can be a bit overwhelming…"

"Exactly!" he said, nodding in agreement. "I just want to keep, ya know, a clear head about it and I…I really don't need anyone bugging me..."

"I understand," she said, giving him a reassuring smile. "Just, promise me that you will talk to _me_ if you need to, OK?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, " he said, picking up his pizza, taking a bite and giving her a pizza sauce smile.

"Thanks, Mon," he mumbled with a wink.

"You're welcome," she said, smiling as she took a big bite, feeling surprisingly giddy knowing Kathy was where she belonged - firmly in his past.

 _ **NOTE: Getting closer! :)**_

 _ **This chapter, to me, laid some foundation for what happened after London, at least that was part of what I was trying to do. Thank you all for your reviews of this fic. I truly appreciate them all very much! So glad you are enjoying it!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Monica gently placed Emily's wedding dress down on the bed and began putting it back into its plastic sheath, ready for her future sister-in-law's wedding day. Only Emily wasn't going to wear it anymore. She'd found a dress she liked better in London so Monica was going to return the one she'd recently spent almost a whole day wearing.

She chuckled to herself. It was so silly, the three of them all wearing wedding dresses to make themselves feel better, but it sure had. For a brief moment she was able to picture her own wedding day - and for once it didn't feel like a far-off fantasy she was never going to be able to make a reality.

Monica glanced toward the living room as she heard the apartment door open. She quickly brought the cheap plastic down over the beautiful white silk.

"Hello?" she heard Chandler say from the kitchen. She froze for a moment, glancing back at the wedding dress, her face turning crimson, remembering the one specific of her own, personal wedding dress day fantasy that quickly came back into focus...

 _"That oughta do it," Rachel said as she closed the door behind a fleeing Joshua. Monica and Phoebe held in their laughter for about two seconds before they both started giggling._

" _Oh stop!" Rachel said, swiping her bottle off the coffee table and taking a swig of her beer, though a little grin crept through on her face._

 _Phoebe and Monica wiped the laughing tears from their eyes._

" _Oh," Monica said with a deep breath as she looked at Rachel. "Are you OK?"_

" _Yeah," her roommate said with a wave of her hand as she sat back down between her friends and Phoebe unpaused the movie they were watching._

" _Damn," Rachel cursed, gently stomping her foot. "I really wish that had been Chandler."_

" _He took off pretty fast," Phoebe mused, then added with a nod, "though not as fast as Chandler probably would have."_

 _Rachel chuckled. "Yeah, we'll have to see which one is makes a quicker getaway."_

" _Well, it's not like Chandler is dating one of us," Monica said as lightly as she could, trying not to let the sudden quickness of her heartbeat creep into the emotion in her voice._

" _True," Phoebe said, "still, maybe we should change."_

 _Monica was about to agree when Rachel vetoed the idea._

" _Oh, no," she said. "I wanna get him! The terrified look on his face should be priceless."_

 _They had no more turned their attention back to the movie when the front door opened._

" _Hello, children," Chandler said cheerfully, until he caught sight of the three women in wedding dresses sitting on the sofa._

" _What the…? What?!" he asked, a look of somewhat bemused confusion settling on his face. "Why are you all in wedding dresses?"_

 _Rachel stood up, smirking, and started to shashey over to Chandler. Monica helped Phoebe to her feet, then followed her two friends to the kitchen._

" _Oh, we're just waiting for Mr. Right," Rachel said in a breathy voice as she came closer to Chandler._

" _And here you are," Phoebe teased as she moved closer to him, too._

" _Ah...ah…" Chandler said with a panicked look on his face as each woman laced elbows on either side of him. "Worst nightmare. Coming true."_

 _He shot a confused look at Monica, who despite her best efforts, couldn't hold back a smile with the eye roll she tossed his way. He grinned deeply back at her and visibly relaxed._

" _Sorry, Ladies, but my tux is at the cleaners," he said cheekily, making Monica giggle as he winked at her._

" _Oh, Mon, you gave it away," Rachel said with a pout as both she and Phoebe released Chandler._

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, still grinning at Chandler as she moved to get the candles under the kitchen sink._

" _So, ah, seriously," he asked. "What's going on?"_

" _Nothing," Rachel snapped. "Nothing you would understand anyway."_

" _Clearly," he deadpanned as Rachel glared at him._

" _We're just having a girls night, Chandler," Phoebe said, as she walked back to the sofa._

" _A girls night slash desperate-to-be-a-bride costume party?" he asked._

" _Here ya go," Monica said, handing him a couple candles and hoping to stave off what she was sure was going to be vicious response from Rachel from the look on her face._

" _Thank you, Mon," he said, then he bent down and whispered in her ear, "you make the prettiest bride, anyway."_

 _Monica's whole body turned beat red as she smiled shyly at him. When he winked at her again she swore her heart skipped, but she recovered quickly to try to hide her reaction and subsequent embarrassment._

" _All right, you," she said with a grin as she moved to the door and opened it for him. "You have a nice date tonight."_

" _I plan to," he said, then glancing warily in Rachel's direction added, "good luck with bridezilla over there."_

 _She smirked at him and waved him out the door. She smoothed down the dress and adjusted her vail before she joined the girls on the sofa with a grin planted on her face. It wasn't long before Rachel was ready to go wallow alone for a while, bemoaning the loss of Ross and now Joshua, too._

" _I'm ready to go change," she said with a long sigh. "Pheebs? Mon?"_

" _Yeah, me too, " Phoebe said as hosted herself off the couch. "I have to get my dress back before 9 or I lose my deposit."_

" _Ummm, " Rachel half-heartedly nodded, then turned to Monica, who was still wearing a grin on her face. "Mon? Hey...Mon?"_

 _But Monica wasn't listening. She was dreaming. She was picturing Chandler in a tux, winking at her from the other end of the aisle, then beaming as she slowly made her way to him. Her cheeks hurt from smiling, everyone was clapping as her hand slipped into his. She saw tears in his eyes as her own sight became blurry..._

 _Monica sighed deeply as her two friends looked at each other then back at their friend._

" _Wonder who she's thinking about?" Phoebe said._

" _Probably not Chandler," Rachel said with a laugh as she made her way to her bedroom._

" _Oh, God, no," Phoebe said, mild look of disgust her face. She shook Monica's arm as Rachel closed her door. Monica reluctantly pulled herself out of her daydream…._

Monica swallowed hard. "In here!" she called from the bedroom.

"Hey," he said as he walked in. He spotted the dress on the bed and recoiled. "Oh, God, I didn't walk in on another weird girls night wedding thing, did I?!"

"Ha! No," she said. "I'm taking Emily's dress back to the bridal shop."

"Why?"

"She found one she liked better in London," she shrugged.

"Oh, well, you could keep it for you," he said with a little grin, which these days never failed to make her blush. She sighed.

"I would, but I don't have an extra $1,875 laying around," she said wistfully.

"One thousand…" he dropped his jaw in shock. "That's almost two grand!"

She nodded, "and that's off the rack."

"Oh God, take it back," he said gesturing toward the door. "Take it back now."

"I am, I am," she said with a grin. "So, are you all set to fly to Jolly Old England tomorrow?"

"I am now that the ring is out of the duck's ass, yes," he said disgustedly.

"Oh, the thought of my grandmother's ring in...there," she said, her whole body briefly shivering.

"I know," he said, shaking his head, then he looked around the room. "Hey listen, is Rachel around?"

"No, I'm pretty sure she's still at work, why?" she asked, curiosity piqued. He sighed.

"She's still not coming to the wedding, huh?"

Monica shook her head, sadly.

"Yeah, well, Ross is pretty bummed about that," he said. "He bent my ear complaining about it for almost an hour last night. You'd think he'd be more focused on marrying Emily than Rachel not being there."

Monica shook her head. She also wished her best friend was coming to her brother's wedding, but deep down she knew why she wasn't making the trip. Almost as though he could read her mind Chandler sighed.

"I know _why_ she's not coming," he said, "but I thought I'd take a stab at talking her into it, for Ross."

Monica cocked her head to the side, studying him. He was such a good friend, but she knew him well enough to know he really didn't want to get involved. Yet, here he was, willing to have one more awkward conversation with Rachel on the subject just in case he could convince her to come.

"What?" he asked, shifting his weight and looking uncomfortable under her steady gaze.

She blinked and cleared her throat.

"Nothing, I..." she said, feeling that all-too-familiar pink glow taking over her cheeks as she averted her eyes and walked over to fiddle with the dress again. "I feel the same way. I want her to come, but at the same time I get it. It's gotta be so hard watching someone you're in love with marry someone else, especially…"

She felt him come closer to her and she briefly closed her eyes, pausing, as she felt him bend down next to her.

"Especially?" he asked, standing straight up again, now completely in her personal space. Monica licked her lips as he raised his eyebrows.

"Especially when, um…" she started weakly, suddenly aware of how close he was to her. He was still in his suit and tie, having come straight from work. He had a hint of 5 o'clock shadow on his cheeks and chin and Monica found herself fighting the urge to run her fingers along the stubble.

She cleared her throat again.

"When you're in love with your best friend," she said softly, her eyes falling to his lips. She could have sworn she heard him gasp. Her eyes rose to meet his and for a moment neither said a word. Monica held her breath, finding herself spellbound by this space between them. She could sense that he felt it, too - whatever _it_ was.

He licked his lips in return and then swallowed, stepping back and fumbling with something in his hands.

"Yeah," he said, somewhat nervously, she thought. "Um, here. You don't want to forget this."

He shoved the veil, which had somehow fallen out of the plastic bag and onto the bedroom floor into her hands. She took it from him and gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks," she mumbled, her heart pounding.

"Sure," he said, with his crooked grin. "That's a couple hundred dollars there at least."

"Yeah," she said, trying hard to blow off whatever moment had just passed between them. "Can you believe that?"

"No," he said emphatically as he moved backwards toward the door. "No, I cannot."

Both of them chuckled awkwardly before Chandler looked to the floor then looked up again.

"I guess I better just let it go then, huh?" he asked. She gave him a confused look.

"Rachel, I mean, talking to Rachel," he clarified. "I should let that go."

"Oh," Monica said, her heart starting to settle. "Yeah. I know you're trying to be a good friend and the best best man ever, but...yeah."

"Right," Chandler nodded, placing a hand on the doorframe of her bedroom. "OK, then well, um, I'll leave you to your task and I, ah, I'll see you later."

"Yeah, yep, yep, sounds good," she said, smiling but still feeling the tinge of awkwardness she was sure he was feeling, too.

"OK," he said, then with a little grin and a half-wave he walked out of her bedroom and then quickly out the door.

Monica put the veil in with the bag with the dress, pinning it to the hanger. She smoothed the plastic one more time then stood, putting her hands on her hips. She twisted her body towards the door then back toward the bed, closing her eyes.

"OK," she whispered softly, letting out a deep breath, trying to make sense of her emotions and why, all of a sudden, Chandler was having such an effect on them.

###

"Hey," she heard Chandler say as she hurried down the hall toward her hotel room. She stopped and turned around, giving him a big smile.

"Hey, yourself," she said, almost skipping toward him as his lopsided grin came over his face. The awkwardness between them was now far in the recesses of her mind. So much had happened since the flight from New York to London the day before, she'd barely had time to think about it. Preparations for the wedding were in full crisis mode, especially given the church was in partial ruins. Of course, crisis mode was where she performed her best and the adrenaline was kicking in.

"I guess I don't have to ask if you're OK now," Chandler said. Monica's smile turned into smirk as she stopped and glared at him cheekily, making his grin wider.

"It's not everyday I throw a box of tissues out of a hotel bathroom," he quipped.

"Yes, very chivalrous of you, Bing," she said, rolling her eyes, "My hero."

If it was possible his grin seemed to widen and Monica thought his blue eyes were sparkling, causing her to blush. Despite his disastrous day in London with (and without) Joey, and her breakdown with Ross, he looked almost giddy and Monica felt that way herself. She'd just left a grateful Emily and relieved Ross behind in the church, which she'd managed to help her brother turn into an enchanting space for the wedding. They were happy and she was happy to have helped solve the problem with her hyper organizational skills.

And even though she briefly recalled, forlornly, that she didn't even have a date for the wedding, she consoled herself with the knowledge that Chandler didn't either. And, for some reason, as she was making her way back to her room to get ready for the rehearsal dinner, that realization had put her in a good mood, She was actually looking forward to the evening.

Chandler let out a chuckle at her "hero" comment.

"So, I assume the wedding is still on?" he asked, "The Flying Nun saved the day?"

She grinned and shook her head at his little joke.

"Yes, it is, thank you very much," she said enthusiastically. "Is your toast ready?"

He nodded.

"Yes, and I dare say, Monty Python himself would be proud," he said in that fake English way he kept failing to perfect, making her wince.

"So...no accent?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"No accent," Monica said with a definitive wave of her hand.

"Fine, party pooper," he said, dramatically rolling his eyes. She playfully punched him on the arm then turned to hurry back down the hallway.

"See you in an hour," she called, smiling over her shoulder as he grinned and waved back to her. Monica turned, a smile still lingering on her face. This was going to be a fun night!

 _ **NOTE: Howdy! I'm back in the saddle again. :)**_

 _ **Nothing like a little knee surgery to get the Mondler vibe flowing. Actually, it never left but the time off work with my leg up has helped bring it to fruition once again. And with this story, which I'd love to (maybe) finish while I'm recuperating. I'll get a couple, if not three, chapters up anyway. Woo hoo!**_

 _ **And, never fear,**_ **I Call Baby** _**is still very much on my "to do" list, too. :) As always, please let me know what you think. Thank you!**_


	9. Chapter 9

Monica flung her arm over her eyes in the darkness of her hotel room.

How had it all gone to hell so damn fast?

One minute she was happily changing into her outfit for the rehearsal dinner and the next she was Ross's mother. _Ross's. Mother_!

And that wasn't even the worst part. Not even close.

It was bad enough that her parents were practically groping each other in front of her and everyone else. The mental images alone were enough, but she'd once witnessed their act live and had no desire to see it again. That, coupled with her mother's neverending references to her current single status, were enough to cause her to want to drink the night away.

Then Chandler, poor Chandler, had completely bombed a toast that, in front of another audience, may have gotten a few laughs anyway. Ironically, at that point the night was looking up for her. He was miserable and so was she. She thought they could drink their troubles away together and maybe salvage the rest of the evening. And then that old, hammered guy showed up and said she looked like Ross's mother. That seemed to be it. That seemed to be the last straw.

But, no.

Ultimately Chandler's rejection had been the last straw.

Oh, he'd tried to console her. And if he said it once, he said it 50 times - the guy was drunk; don't listen to him; there's no way you look like Ross's mother. He'd repeated the mantra over and over at the end of the dinner and again later at the bar when she kept lamenting her lack of a love life. He kept telling her to forget about the comment and enjoy the night.

"You're a very attractive person, Mon," he'd said. "Attractive person," she thought. Geez. If he'd called her a "handsome female" she didn't think she could have felt worse, especially since she was doing absolutely everything she could think of to throw herself at him.

She'd batted her eyes, she got more to drink. She ran her hand down his arm, at one point laying her head on his shoulder. She was giving out every signal she could think of that she wanted sex. She just needed a little pick-me-up sex. That's it. Of course, somewhere in her brain she knew pick-me-up sex would be an awful idea with Chandler. She was feeling way too many strange emotions when it came to him lately to think it was a _good_ idea. But she was honestly too drunk and depressed to care.

Yet, he was having none of it. Actually, she was convinced at one point that she was making him very uncomfortable. He ordered a couple more drinks and wouldn't look directly at her at the bar. He patted her hand and actually at one point pushed it away when she'd boldly placed it on his thigh. It was clear he didn't want what she was offering.

It was clear he didn't want her.

"'Who wouldn't want you?'" she mumbled miserably into the darkness. "I guess that would be you, Chandler. It would be you."

She turned over on her side, finding no relief in the pillow she pulled close to her body. He'd brought her to her room and, in a last ditch effort, she'd tried to seductively lay on the bed. Instead she fell down on it like a lump. Chandler had grinned sadly at her, patted her on the shoulder and told her to get some sleep then walked out of her hotel room. He only briefly glanced back at her before shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.

Monica stared at the clock on her nightstand. It was just after 9 p.m. She sighed heavily as tears pooled in her eyes, but she swallowed them back. She looked at the half-finished glass of scotch she'd placed next to the clock. She sat up and took a little drink from the cocktail straw, wincing as the liquid hit the back of her throat.

She stood up, swaying just a little, and caught sight of herself in the mirror in her room. She cocked her head to the side and studied her reflection. She thought she still looked pretty good, despite the disaster that was the evening. So why didn't he want her? Why didn't Chandler want her? Maybe he really was gay, she thought fleetingly. But she knew that wasn't true. He just didn't want her. He was her friend and she was his friend and that was all.

Monica frowned. Somebody would want her, though, right? Somebody would give her the physical intimacy and half-hour of sex she craved. But, who? She didn't know anybody in the city that wasn't a blood relative, except…

Joey.

"Joey," she whispered to herself.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Of course Joey. It wouldn't be complicated with Joey. A little weird maybe, but she was sure she could talk him into it. It was Joey. He slept with anything in a skirt. She'd just have to down another drink. She'd get the sex she wanted and, God willing, wouldn't remember any of it in the morning.

Monica took a big sip of the alcohol in her glass and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She took a deep breath. She could do this.

She put one foot in front of the other and walked out the door. The guys' hotel room was just at the other end of the hall, but it felt to her as though it was a mile away. The closer she got to their door the slower her steps became. Monica knew she was losing her nerve, but the thought of going back to her hotel room alone made her shudder.

She paused before she knocked on their door, hearing the TV on inside. At least someone was there. Monica took another sip of her drink and knocked on the door.

Nothing.

She knocked again, a little louder this time and suddenly heard the roar of a cheering crowd being broadcast from the other side. She furrowed her brow as the roar subsided and the door knob turned.

"Mon?"

She nodded then blinked a couple times as her eyes adjusted to the dim room. The brightness from the television and a small sconce by the bathroom door provided the only light, casting shadows along the walls.

Her heart was hammering as he opened the door wider and let her come inside. A rugby match was on the television. A box of kleenex and a two small hotel bottles of whiskey sat on the nightstand between the two beds.

Monica swallowed hard as she looked back at him over her shoulder. His white dress shirt was partially untucked, one side hanging loosely over the front side of his pants. The top three buttons of it were open, revealing little puffs of chest hair underneath. His hair was a mess, as though he'd run his hands through it one too many times. He had one hand in his pocket, the other holding yet another little bottle of alcohol.

And he looked sexier than hell.

She turned back around toward the beds and squeezed her eyes closed before glancing over at the TV once again. She knew there was no way rugby was on the screen moments earlier. She'd seen that kind of look on his face often enough during the guys' "free pornathon" a few weeks ago to know exactly what he'd been doing before she knocked on his door.

Monica slowly turned back to face him. A serious, yet tired expression settled into his features. She took another sip of her drink.

"What is it, Mon?" he asked, sounding weary.

"Oh, you know," she said softly, as she looked down into her glass and slowly spun the straw around the rim.

"Monica, honey," Chandler said, taking his hand out of his pocket and taking the glass from hers. He put it down on the edge of the TV stand then held her hand in his. "Come on, you have got to let this go, OK? Please, I'm beggin' ya. Let. It. Go."

"But…"

"Dammit, stop it," he said, the flash of anger in his voice surprising her. She looked at him with wide eyes as he let go of her hand. "Just...stop it."

He put his hand back in his pocket and briefly closed his eyes, hanging his head and sighing. He moved to put his whiskey bottle down next to her glass then stood right in front of her.

"You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight," he said, his dark eyes searching hers in the shadows, determined to make her believe him. "You are the most beautiful woman in most rooms…"

Monica couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take the pounding of her heart, the sincere look on his face, the heat coming off his body. She threw her arms around his neck, hopped up on her tiptoes and crashed into him. Then she kissed him, hard.

The surprise of her ambush lasted only a couple seconds before she felt him start to kiss her back, his arms instinctively pulling her against him. One of his legs hit the TV stand, sending their alcohol crashing to the floor, but neither seemed to notice. She ran her hands through his hair as his lips...oh, God, his lips… continued to press against hers, both soft and demanding at the same time.

She moaned as his hands moved to her hips. She slipped her tongue under his and she could taste the remnants of the whiskey he had consumed before she came into the room. She started to relax into the kiss when he groaned, then swiftly pulled away with a half-grunt. Both were breathing fast into the space of heavy lust that seemed to be passing between them.

"Wait," he said, his voice low and breathless, "we...we're making out?!"

"Not anymore," she breathed with a hint of a grin.

"But we don't...we don't make out," he said, standing straighter now and furrowing his brow.

"I know, but I...I thought maybe we should," she said in almost a whisper, trying and failing to look into his eyes. Her hands were lightly resting on his shoulders. Chandler reached up and gently brought them down to her sides.

"You're drunk," he said softly, and she swore she could detect a touch of sadness and disappointment in his voice.

Her big eyes filled with tears as she finally looked up at him, but she shook her head "no." She'd actually never felt a moment so clear in her entire life.

"Monica," he whispered, cocking his head to the side and looking at her with such tenderness it made her heart hurt.

She couldn't find words, so she just shook her head "no" one more time, searching for his reaction in the creases of his handsome face, praying fiercely that her heart could take it if he flat-out rejected her now.

Monica held her breath...and waited.

 _ **NOTE: Because I haven't spoiled you guys in a long time, and damn, but did I forget how fun this is! ;) Plus, I gotta take advantage while I can - right, Chandler?! Ha!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Monica held her breath...and waited.

Eventually her eyes dropped to his lips, wanting so badly to taste them again. To taste him. She bit her lip and finally raised her eyes to his. He was studying her in a way he never had before - wary and, was it yearning? - at the exact same time. He let out a heavy sigh.

"How drunk _are_ you?"

She took a deep breath.

"Drunk enough I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk you should feel guilty about taking advantage."

The look of pity that momentarily came over his face was almost too much for her to take.

"You're killing me here, you know that, right?" he said, exasperated, his hands now on either side of his head. "What do you want from me? What?! What do you want me to do?"

"I want..." She swallowed hard, her face burning red with embarrassment, her fear of rejection bubbling right at the surface. "I want you to...help me."

She took another step closer to him, her gaze falling to his open mouth. He threw his arms out to his sides in frustration and shrugged up his shoulders.

"Mon, I've tried...that's what I've been trying to do all night," he said as gently as he could, her vulnerability making him seem nervous and confused all at once.

"We went to the bar. We had a few drinks," he said, attempting to grin a little. "One of us had more than a few. I walked you back to your room. You should be all tucked in bed sleeping it off by now."

She briefly looked down and shook her head, starting to feel completely defeated. He gently touched her chin with his fingertips until she slowly raised her face to his again.

"Look, I meant what I said before," he said softly. "You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. No man in his right mind wouldn't want you."

He was looking at her so earnestly her eyes started to well up again. She lifted one hand and ran the back of her fingers down the light stubble on his cheek.

"Are you?" she asked in a bold whisper, licking her lips and running her index finger along his jawline.

"Am I what?" he asked, his voice shaking a touch as she stepped even closer, still looking at him like she had that moment before she kissed him.

"In your right mind," she whispered.

His eyes softened but he took a half step back, gently placing his hands on her upper arms.

"I'm trying to be your friend here, Mon," he said slowly, swallowing heavily as he looked into her bright eyes. "I've pretty much done all I can do and...and still be, ya know, a...a gentleman."

He chuckled a little bit but she didn't smile. He sobered quickly. Her eyes stayed locked with his, knowing exactly what she wanted. Exactly who she needed.

"Don't," she said clearly.

He furrowed his brow and started to step back again when she grabbed onto his shirt.

"Don't what?" He asked quietly, glancing down at her fist clutching him, a somewhat skeptical look on his face.

She looked up at him through lowered lashes, willing him to understand what she wanted. Willing him to understand she wanted _him_.

"Don't be a gentleman," she said in barely a whisper.

She watched as almost in slow motion the expression on his face, mere inches from hers, started to change into understanding, a mild shock behind his beautiful blue eyes.

"You...you want me? You...you _actually_ want me?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave or two as he stuttered out the words, his hands now gripping both sides of her just below her breasts.

Her eyes were wide, almost innocent as she whispered "yes."

Monica parted her lips as Chandler's eyes seemed to instantly turn a shade darker as he studied her. She could feel his heart thundering against his chest, his breath hot near her mouth. Her own heart was racing and for just a split second she panicked.

"I...I..." she started, as her nerve began to falter at the edge of that fragile line she silently prayed they were finally about to cross.

Before she could utter another sound his soft lips crashed hard back onto hers and he pulled her body fully against him.

She moaned as she felt her breasts crushed against his chest just as his tongue ran across hers. She dug her fingertips into his back and kissed him hungrily, all the confusing feelings she'd had for him over the past few months finding their focus as they poured out of her.

Chandler's hand slowly caressed her back, sending shivers up her spine. He clutched the back of her head with his long fingers and gently tugged, breaking their breathless kiss. They stared at each other, an unleashed awakening reflected in each others eyes like images on the reel of an old-fashioned film.

"I can do that," he finally whispered raggedly against her swollen lips, then nodded his head up and down vigorously for emphasis as she cracked a smile. He gave her his lopsided grin as he pulled her with him toward one of the hotel room beds. She could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly against hers as they each tried to catch their breath.

"If that's what you...want...I..." he said softly, holding her tight, almost afraid to let her go. He looked into her eyes with an intensity she'd never seen directed at her in the past.

"God, how I wanna do that," he whispered huskily, almost to himself, but his voice was full of the passion she'd been longing for, all walls between them crashing down. "If...you really want…"

"Chandler…" she half-whispered, half-begged, tears again springing to her eyes. She nodded, clutching at his shoulders, her own eyes full of a long-buried truth even she didn't fully understand. It felt so right having his lips on hers, his arms holding her, his body against her, his heart protecting hers.

She whimpered as he unzipped the back of her top, his fingers lightly trembling against her skin, betraying his own emotions.

"You're sure?" he gently asked one last time before his lips began to kiss her bare shoulder as they crumbled down onto the bed together.

"Yes," she breathed, her voice hitching in her dry throat. He gently rolled them over and pushed her down into the comforter beneath them, his lips burning the skin of her neck as she whispered against his ear what her heart was screaming in her mind.

"Yes, yes, yes..."

She'd barely gotten out the final "yes" before his lips found hers again. He kissed her deeply, his hands now on her bare shoulders, stroking the soft skin at the top of her arms with his thumbs. Her palms were cradling his jaw as he kissed her, holding his face in her hands.

Chandler slipped his hands under her back and unclasped her bra, then slowly pulled the straps down her shoulders and pulled the garment away from her body. He pulled away from her, kneeling over her, and straddling her hips as looked into her eyes. Her left hand softly stroked his right arm as she ran her right thumb along his bottom lip. She gave him a gentle smile before his eyes fell to her breasts.

"Ohhh," he whimpered, an almost pained look of awe on his face as he gazed upon her. Monica's heart surged at the look of adoration in his eyes as her smile deepened. Chandler lowered his lips to her as she arched her back, never having ached for anyone to touch her like she ached for him to touch her and take her into his mouth.

She gasped his name as he did, then cried out at the pleasure coursing through her. She pulled on his hair and he lingered just long enough to make her frenzied to kiss him again, and as though he sensed it, he lifted his face to hers and gently kissed her mouth, lingering there as he lingered on her breasts.

"Any man would want you," he whispered hot against her lips. "You're perfection, Monica…"

The way he said her name sounded like a song, it sounded like the sweetest word in the world to her and tears sprung to her eyes. She wanted him closer.

"I need to touch you," she whispered, beginning to unbutton the remaining buttons of his white dress shirt. He helped her and they pulled it off together, letting it fall to the floor beside them. Monica ran her hands across his bare chest then along his shoulders, massaging his smooth back, loving the feel of his skin under her fingers. Then she pulled herself up and placed soft kisses on his shoulder and his neck, feeling him shudder. She smiled into the crook of his neck as his head dropped and he laid it gently against hers. He left it there only a moment before urging her to move her mouth to his again as he lay down on top of her, skin on skin.

Monica was breathless, from his kiss and from the emotions enveloping her. She knew being with him like this would be amazing, but she never dreamed it would feel like this. She felt like she was floating, between despair and joy, between friends and lovers and it felt exquisite. It felt divine. It felt right in every possible way.

"Mmmm…" she moaned as his lips held hers and he smiled and she smiled back against him.

"Oh, I like this," she sighed as he kissed her softly again. "I think I could kiss you all night."

"Well, if that's all you want, sure," he teased as he pulled her to him and rolled over on his back, bringing her to rest on top of him, cupping her face in his hand, "but I thought we might be able to do some other stuff."

"Hum," she said with a teasing smirk, her lips unable to stop kissing his as she whispered, "only if you're...as good with the other stuff...as you are at this."

He chuckled and Monica grinned. He pulled her head to his to kiss her again and whispered, "I've gotten better. Much, much better."

His voice was so low and lusty it made her shiver.

"Oh yeah?" she breathed, searching his blue bedroom eyes in dim light of the room.

"Yeah," he breathed with a grin, as his hands found her breasts again. She half-gasped, half moaned. "An incredibly hot babe made me a sketch once and it's been my Bible ever since."

"Ohhh," she laughed, now remembering that moment with him and Rachel a few months earlier. He chuckled again and they smiled at one another a moment, soaking in the other's happiness before she leaned down to kiss him again.

"I hope she knew what she was doing," she teased against his lips.

"Only one way to find out," he said as his palms moved down her bare back and he kissed her deeply again, his hands running over her bottom. Monica's senses shifted into overdrive and she kissed him back with a fevered passion she couldn't contain. She moaned again as he unzipped her skirt. Then she crawled to the edge of the bed and stood, pulling off everything she had left on as Chandler sat up and watched her, a slackjawed, lustful expression his face.

She grinned shyly and stretched out her arms to him. He took her hands and scooted from the bed to stand in front of her. He slowly placed both his hands on the sides of her bare hips, gripping them lightly, pressing his fingertips into her flesh. Monica felt lightheaded as he groaned softly, pressing his lips against her forehead. She closed her eyes and ran her hands up his back, pushing herself against him, both of them breathing heavily.

Monica could feel him against her and felt the tension inside her start to climb to the breaking point. He panted into her ear as she undid his belt and slowly pulled it off around his waist. Her fingers trembled as she unzipped his pants and pulled them and his boxers down. He kicked them away as her eyes grew wide. She whimpered as she stroked him, closing her eyes, her head fell to his shoulder.

"Monica…" he breathed.

She lifted her face to him, tears swimming behind her closed eyes, as she held him. He kissed her, running his fingers across her body.

"If I look at you," he said in a pained whisper against her lips. "I won't be able to stop myself. I…"

"I don't want you to stop," she said, wrapping the bottom of her leg around his. He kissed her hard then pulled away, taking in all of her. She swore there were tears in his eyes when he looked at her once again.

"I don't want you to stop, Chandler," she repeated, pressing her body fully against him, running her fingernails over his shoulders. She'd never felt this desire for anyone else. Ever. She knew it was because it was him. It was Chandler. For so long she'd felt connected to him in mind, in spirit, and now it was almost whole.

She was almost whole.

"I won't stop," he whispered, pulling her back onto the bed with him, kissing and stroking her until she lay on him once again. He kissed her languidly then promised, "I won't stop until you know you're the most wanted woman in any room."

Her heart flipped and she pulled away, this time looking at him with tears in her eyes. He smiled softly at her.

"The most desired woman in the world," he said, searching her face. Her breath caught as she looked down at his handsome face, feeling euphoric in his arms.

"Chandler," she choked out, overcome with emotion as she stroked his cheek. "I...oh…"

He gently took her hand and kissed her palm, his eyes never leaving hers. Then he sat up and reached into the nightstand for a condom. Monica started to shake as he swiftly put it in place then crawled over her.

He gave her a gentle kiss as she moved to accomodate him, then she held her breath as he slipped into her.

"Ohhhh," she moaned out as he began to move in her. "Oh, God, oh…"

He leaned down to kiss her, their lips seeking each other's taste to the rhythm of their bodies. Instantly they moved together, as though they'd been one for a very, very long time. Monica moaned softly with every move he made, the pleasure and relief that she felt being with him making her want to express her joy every way she could.

"Are you OK?" he asked, his breathing labored as concern flashed across his features. She gazed at him and smiled, a look of pure satisfaction on her face.

"Oh, perfect," she said, and he smiled back at her as she reached up to kiss him again. "Oh, Chandler, it's so, so perfect."

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _ **Ah….**_

 _ **So, I hate to disappoint, but I'm not writing all 7 times. First of all, it's been done to perfection elsewhere. More importantly, my intent was simply to put an AU twist on the way they initially got together in that hotel room in London.**_

 _ **Frankly, while the whole dorky pjs & "I have kissed over 4 women" was cute, I thought there should have been a little more passion portrayed in "TOW The Truth About London" when they first got together. After all, they couldn't keep their hands off each other after, so it had to have been pretty hot, right?! ;)**_

 _ **Anyway, so this story - both figuratively and literally - took me a lot longer to write than I'd hoped. The seed was planted after watching a bunch of S4 and writing my story TOW I Love You a few years ago (God, has it been that long?!). So, if you haven't read that one-shot before, you can read it now. It works well as an inbetween fic bridging this chapter to the upcoming epilogue!**_

 _ **As always, please let me know what you think of this chapter and thanks so much for your reviews!**_

 _ **Also, thanks for your kind words on my health. I'm recovering very well, thank you! :)**_


	11. Chapter 11 - Epilogue

Monica knew Joey was right. She knew she needed to stay put in the apartment and wait for Chandler to come home.

That didn't mean she had to like it, but she had to do it.

She threw her white jacket down on the couch and pulled her hair back into a tighter ponytail. She walked to the kitchen and gathered her cleaning supplies from under the sink. Soon she was scrubbing the countertops like there was no tomorrow.

"Mon?"

Monica whipped around the find Phoebe standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" she spat out at her, quickly returning to the task at hand.

"I want to say I'm sorry," Phoebe said, hanging up her purse and walking pensively into the kitchen.

Monica ran the back of her yellow, rubber gloved hand along her forehead.

"Why, Phoebe, why?!" Monica said, trying to fight her rising anger. "Why did you say that?"

"I...I thought it would be funny!" Phoebe said in a feeble attempt to defend herself. "I mean, it is kinda funny, right? The guy who is marrying you two is the same guy you went to find that night in London? That's just...that's just great irony."

"Oh, yeah, Chandler's first thought was clearly the irony," Monica said, pulling off her rubber gloves in disgust and plopping down on one of the kitchen chairs. Phoebe sat too, and folded her hands in front of her on the table.

"I know, I should have thought of my audience," she said, wincing. "But, Monica, this will blow over, OK? It's not like you really _wanted_ to sleep with Joey that night, right? You were just looking for sex and of course Joey was the first person who came to mind!"

Monica looked sideways at her and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. No, Joey was not the first person who came to mind that night, but she didn't want or need to explain that to Phoebe. She wanted to explain that to her fiance.

"Look... " Monica started, then sighed. "It's just...that night means...it means so much to, to both of us Phoebe and now it's, it's just tainted…"

Phoebe briefly put her face in her hands and shook her head back and forth with a little growl.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Monica, I…" she said, her face twisted in guilt when she looked at her friend again. "I didn't mean to hurt you or Chandler or ruin anything…"

Just then the door opened and Chandler walked inside, both women rose to their feet.

"Hey," he said, attempting to smile, which made Monica's whole body heavy with relief as she smiled back at him.

Phoebe walked over and put a hand on his arm.

"Chandler, I'm really sorry," she said sincerely. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm really happy for you guys and...and I'm glad you had sex in London and you're getting married and…"

"Pheebs, hey," Chandler said, patting her hand. "It's OK. Really. OK? I just, um, I need to talk to Monica."

"Oh, yeah, OK," she said, rushing to grab her purse and looking back and forth between the two of them. "OK, you'll be OK?"

Chandler smiled at her and nodded. "We'll be OK."

"OK, OK good," Phoebe said, relieved. She smiled at Monica and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Chandler looked at Monica and she looked back at him with tears in her eyes.

"Will we?" she asked in a hoarse whisper. "Be OK, I mean."

He walked over and reached out to her. She quickly fell into his embrace and held him tight, closing her eyes when he kissed her hair.

"Of course we'll be OK, Mon," he whispered into her hair. "It was just a...a shock, and I was, I was a little confused..."

She looked up at him, "Chandler, I can explain…"

He shook his head and grinned. "Joey already did."

"Joey?" she asked skeptically as she pulled back from him.

"Yeah," he said with a surprised grin on his face as he stroked a lock of her fallen hair behind her ear. "He said that even though you may have wanted him for a half-hour one night, you wanted me for the rest of your life and that I should focus on that. He's right."

"Really?" she said, squishing up her nose. "Joey really said that?"

"I know," he said, in mild disbelief. "I was surprised, too! He said some other great stuff about us 'fitting together' that I _hope_ he remembers for the wedding but I'm not holding my breath."

"Hump," Monica said with a mild chuckle as she played with the top of his jacket zipper. "Well, he was half right."

Chandler looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "Whatta mean?"

She looked up at him and blinked the tears away from her eyes, cupping his cheek.

"I do want _you_ for the rest of my life," she said with a shy smile, "but I didn't really want him for a half-hour that night. I wanted you."

"That...that's the part that confused me," he said, softly, as he took her hand and they both walked over to sit on the couch, facing each other.

"I mean, you told me right here," he said, pointing to the couch they were now sitting on, "that you...you thought you had feelings for me before London..."

"I did," she insisted.

"Then, why did you think about sleeping with Joey?" he asked. She took a deep breath and looked into his confused face.

"Because," she said, now recognizing the absurdity of her next words, "I didn't think you wanted me."

"What?!" he nearly shouted, completely take aback. "Are you kidding me?! Of course, I wanted you!"

"Well, it didn't feel that way at the time," she said, dropping her head a moment, then she raised her eyes to his again with a sad smile. "I remember trying everything I could to seduce you that night at the bar and...and you refused me at every turn."

"Of course, I did," he said, shrugging up his shoulders. "You were my friend. You were sad, you were drunk and I didn't…"

"...want to take advantage of me and the situation, I know," she said, reaching out and cupping his face in her hands, cocking her head and smiling at him. "That's one of the million reasons I love you so much."

He grinned, then took her hands in his with that intense look in his eyes that made her stomach flip.

"But, believe me, I wanted you," he said softly, but with such conviction it made her shiver. "When I went back to my room I was determined to drink myself into oblivion just so I wouldn't leave again; so I wouldn't walk down the hall to you because, Mon, I tell ya, giving you exactly what I knew you wanted that night was all I could think about."

She squeezed his fingers in her hands, shook her head and sighed.

"I didn't know any of that," she said softly, searching his face. "All I knew is that you went back to your room and I...I wanted...to feel sexy and beautiful and not like Ross's mother, so I thought if you didn't want to do that then maybe...maybe I could talk Joey into it.

Chandler closed his eyes and shook his head. "He wouldn't have been that hard to convince," he said, somewhat irritably. Monica grinned at him.

"I almost lost my nerve," she continued, nodding slowly. "I almost turned back and didn't knock on your door. But I did…"

"Yes, you did," he said, with a grin as he raised her hand and kissed it.

"You have no idea how relieved I was that you were the only one there," she said in almost a whisper, tears in her eyes as she looked into his. "I think a part of me was hoping that would be the case, that you would be alone…"

Chandler shook his head again and sighed as they instinctively came closer together on the sofa.

"I knew turning you down then would be the hardest thing I ever would do," Chandler said, cupping her face. "You were so vulnerable and so...so sad. I would have done anything to...to give you comfort and make you happy. I just couldn't imagine that you really wanted me, at least not right away. I mean, eventually I caught on..."

She smiled at him and he grinned.

"I thought maybe you...regretted it in the morning?" she asked the question she'd been wanting to ask for a long time with a wince.

"No!" he said immediately. "No, I never regretted anything...other than Ross's pathetic sense of timing. Did...did you?"

She shook her head, "only insofar as I knew how I was feeling about you and...and I knew I wanted to be, ah, with you again. At first I didn't know what you would think about that, but it became clear soon enough."

"Humm…" he hummed with a grin as she reached up to kiss him again.

"So, are we good?" she asked, love shining from her eyes.

"Yeah," he smiled, "we're good, Joey's good, we're all good."

"So are we going to let him marry us?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, with a little smirk. "Since we're such a sharing and loving and giving and receiving couple."

Monica groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Just remember this when we're up there and he's marrying us," she said, running her hands through the sides on his hair. "I never wanted Joey. I wanted sex and I wanted comfort but, ultimately, I just wanted you. _You_ are my Batman."

His eyebrows lifted in surprise as he smiled widely.

"And seven times, too," he said, kissing her again with mischievous grin on his face. "That's some superhero power if I do say so myself."

She giggled at him and shook her head, her eyes smiling at him.

"I love you," he chuckled as she smiled wider.

"Yeah, baby," she whispered, kissing him one more time.

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _ **The End - Thanks for sticking with this one all the way through!**_

 **I Call Baby** _**is my sole focus moving forward - yay! I have several future chapters of that at least partially written, but when I'll get back to working on it I don't know.**_

 _ **Hopefully whenever it is you'll think it's worth the wait! ;)**_

' _ **Til then...God Bless!**_


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